Asian Dating app

This Asian dating platform has the best dating app which has been highly rated on Google Play. The only drawback with this service is that it can only be used for local dating and never international because the matching up of potential partners is based on where you are currently located. International Asian Dating - Trusted By Over 4.5 Million Singles. AsianDating is part of the well-established Cupid Media network that operates over 30 reputable niche dating sites. With a commitment to connecting singles worldwide, we bring Asia to you. Another interesting approach on the dating app front is Peekawoo from the Philippines. The app eschews the typical assertive nature of most mainstream dating apps for a more female-friendly approach. Mobile App: TrulyAsian is a fast growing Asian dating site with a good amount of cute Asian girls on the site. It’s free to sign up and browse members but you need a premium membership to send and read unlimited messages. Premium membership costs $28.95 per month but there’s a 7 day trial for $2.95 if you want to test out the site. Cupid Media, the Cupid Media Logo and AsianDating.com are registered trademarks of Ecom Holdings Pty Ltd and used with permission by Cupid Media Pty Ltd. and ... AsianDate is an International Dating site that brings you exciting introductions and direct communication with Asian women. ... safe, and easy to find people to connect with. The mobile app also makes it easy for me to stay in touch when I am on the go.' ... people yet. It was a great place to talk to new people! It really helped me break out ... Find Popular Asian Dating Site & App 39 Best Asian Dating Sites & Apps 2020 Part 1: Advertisers AsianDating.com Popularity: Type: Asian Dating Platform: Website, Android App With over 2.5 million members, AsianDating.com is a hugely popular dating site to match western men with Asian women. ThaiJoop is often given the title “Best Asian Dating App” among single Asian men and women, proven by their 4.5- and 4.1-star ratings in The App Store and Google Play, respectively. There’s also a desktop version if you’re more of the laptop-on-lap-on-couch kind of dater. ThaiJoop is an Asian dating app that helps you meet Thai singles. Last year, we noted that the ThaiJoop app was a bit more developed on iOS than on Android. With a recent update, however, the new ... The app belongs to the popular Japanese dating apps because so many foreign men dream of meeting Japanese brides without taking the first steps. OkCupid Japan The app is a premium application where you can find a partner for long-term relationships and marriage.

DilMil

2019.08.08 20:15 DilMil

A subreddit dedicated to sharing stories and amusing conversations from the South Asian dating app Dil Mil
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2020.09.20 07:55 nnancy91 Default loan/Trying to decide to go ADN, BSN, or ELMSN. (Bay Area, Sacramento location)

Here is my background. I am from Sacramento, graduated from college at the Bay Area in 2015. Didn't do anything related to that field after that and I wasn't surrounded by the right individuals to get me motivated or who had bigger goals in the future. I wasn't the brightest either. I didn't make the right decisions, I was just living by paychecks. Paying rent with my roommates. I was stubborn. I met my significant other in SF 3 years ago. Well, in short, he pushed me to go deeper for my future. A year after we dated, I finally went back to Sacramento to stay at my parents so I can go to a accelerated MA program. I had 5 months of experience in Sacramento, and 8 months in a SF practice. I hardly got to save up during the time I was just living off of paychecks, so i barely saved up during my transition as an MA. Now I have 1 and half years of experience. I decided to go deeper in healthcare, which is nursing. Again, moved back home this Janurary nd decided not to work for the first semester as I haven't been in school as a full time student since 2015. I did apply to a few positions in January just in case, but I honestly think opportunities are very hard to get in Sacramento. Currently, i have been applying in July and well you know how there are so much openings. I've been getting responses back and been to a few interview. Im bringing this up as I believe getting opportunities in Sacramento is really hard to come by.
I come from a asian household, so you would know how parents are. My parents wants me to get married and have kids ASAP. But I want to be able to be financially stable. So i just feel really pressured and overwhelmed from my parents and my significant other. I myself want to get into nursing ASAP also. Besides that pressure I prefer the faster route which is ABSN, BSN, or ELMSN. I originally wanted to go to the ADN route in terms of cost. But during summer semester, I spoke to one of my interpersonal communication peer that I should be more opened. So i did more research and I decided to go for ABSN, BSN, or ELMSN. Currently, I am debating because of my Default Loan status. Will that status affect my ability to receive Federal Loans or Private loans? Based on my experience since taking prereqs since Jan. I've been rejected and received Cal grant, but not the federal loans from 3 different community colleges. So it makes me even wonder if I'll receive any aid when I do apply for the ABSN, BSN, or ELMSN? Or even Private Loans? I'm trying to see my options and be opened if I have to take the ADN as ill be able to pay it and take the BSN route after. But i think Ill have a hard time getting a RN job in Sacramento as I am hoping to get into a facility that will help me with the BSN tution. Or have no aid when I do go for the ABSN, BSN, ELMSN route. I most likely wont be working during that time or I wont even have much to even pay out pocket? I am overall trying to see my options in every possible was just in case one does not goes to plan. Has anyone been under this situation or know any background?
Sorry if this is very long. But i feel very overwhelmed over this. Thank you for listening.
*I quality for a BSN and ELMSN program and can get the app. started until the Decemeber deadline. Then during the spring semester of taking the rest of the additional courses, I can apply to the rest of the eligible programs.
submitted by nnancy91 to prenursing [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 01:57 bassingpreeze17 29 [M4F] CA/Los Angeles - COVID Free and College Educated for Cougars and other Curvy Company

Greetings all, I hope my goofy alliteration was enough to catch your attention
I'm Joseph, it's a pleasure.
If you're stopping by this post it's mostly likely because you may be like me. Doing your best to follow the rules during the pandemic, holding on but still feeling like you miss good human connection and maybe want something just a little more than the average hook up and run fair that most are looking for here. (Trust me I feel the heat after being locked in for so long and I'm ready to go to town but I like to make sure we connect a bit first). I've poked my head into other spaces but dating apps feel a bit less personal than a long winded essay about me so here I am
Anyways, hopefully my blurbs and willingness to talk will attract you and keep wanting to chat more and get into it before you get into my pants. If you're looking for something that's a little more than just a hook up, look no further because this one has details that won't completely disappoint. So lets get to it:
Stats (so you can size me up): I'm 29 years old, 6'0 tall, brown hair and eyes, white/hispanic mixed, in decent shape, 170lbs, 7 inches and thick, college educated (BA in Communications, and applying to Grad School), can travel/drive, don't mind some weekend drinking but I watch myself and while enjoy an edible sparingly here and there, I'm drug free otherwise and polite and laid back.
Career and Hobbies:Work wise I work for small businesses as a project and digital media manager, usually helping them grow. Currently I'm with an electrical contractor and I help them manage projects and their digital output (mostly advertising but how they do it online) and I also do a bit of teaching on the side to kids in music programs but that's obvs on hold right now with how the world is turning. And as far as hobbies I'm big into video games, I like to collect and learn about old and new projects and try out new games as much as I can. I also like following movies and shows. I'm a big fan of new cooking recipes and when quarantine isn't happening I do like traveling
My status: I'm single. My last relationship ended months ago and it wasnt a long one, COVID just ensured it wouldn't last. It sucks but we mutually made the best call and we are still friends now. With that, I've taken some time to myself and I'm finding being single to feel good. Still, it's been awhile since I've just been on my own and while I know I'll be fine by myself for now, the pandemic makes meeting new people in a more normal fashion tough so here I am shooting my shot. I'm just trying to see who I meet and if there's any kind of decent connections to be made. No pressure.
What I'm into/looking for: Now here's where you come in, as my title says I'm looking for the pleasure and company of an older lady but considering I've actually gotten some messages from interested ladies my age or younger as well I'm open to anyone really. Appearance wise i don't have a long list of preferences, but thickecurvier body types tend to be what I find myself attracted to. Need my dose of thiccc thighs. Age wise I figure 40-60 is a fair range but if you meet the curvy credentials than as long as your are 18-60 I don't mind, shoot your shot. And I have no ethnic background preference but I've happened to mostly date white, hispanic and asian women (could be that's who I attract, just an observation not a limitation) so that is what it is. Beyond appearance as long as we can carry a conversation together and click in that regard I think we'll get along fine
Anyways, if my description sounds like the kind of man you are after, send me details or what you think we'd have in common and a pic of you will get some of me.
Lets keep each other sane and satiated as we can during this quarantine.
submitted by bassingpreeze17 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 23:59 stablers Re-joining the dating pool after a long break

Hi everyone,
I hope this is the right place to post this and sorry if it's a bit long/poorly formatted.
I'm 32 and openly gay, have been since my teens, but I fell into some really unhealthy habits in my early 20's due to what in hindsight was a very abusive relationship and just some bad choices. I ended up working as a sex worker, developing a fairly severe drug problem and just generally being pretty messy and losing a lot of friends. After the relationship ended I managed to get clean with a lot of help from the few people who stuck around,and quit that particular style of work but i realised pretty quickly that I had a very unhealthy relationship with sex.
To try and fix that I decided to try a period of celibacy to try and kick old habits. I didn't want sex to be meaningless anymore. I moved halfway across the world, cut ties with a lot of the people from my old life and avoided any sort of non-platonic relationship. I did that successfully for 6 years. I have great friends who I love spending time with, a job that I love and I'm generally pretty happy.
Recently, I decided that it's time to put an end to my self enforced celibacy, but I've realised that after years of self destructive behavior and years of actively avoiding dating that I have no frame of reference for a healthy relationship.
I'm currently living in a rural area of a fairly conservative Asian country so it's not like there are many options available to me (most gay people here just marry a woman and have affairs or don't want to date a foreigner), but whenever I match with someone on an app I panic and end up breaking off communication after exchanging basic info. I don't really know how to go on a date and its so long since I've had sex that I'm kind of scared to try again.
Does anyone have any advice on how to get past this?
TL/DR I've avoided dating and sex for 6 years, want to start again but I'm scared. Please help.
submitted by stablers to AskGaybrosOver30 [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 23:56 No_Research3744 Why do women react poorly even when physically attractive & successful men "cold approach" them? Should men cold approach more or less? What is the current status of cold approach in our culture?

I was just reading a pair of threads in direct conflict.
One was by a >6' white guy who says he is in good shape and tries talking to women randomly IRL. He said they almost always react coldly and won't reciprocate conversation. Unlike, he said if he talks to a random guy for example who will talk back. There is another guy who has made similar threads, posted his pics, and been called "hot", gets loads of matches online, yet says women simply won't talk back if he tries opening them IRL. He finds it frustrating and says everyone else will talk IRL but not women his age.
The other thread was by an Asian girl who said she is fit and medium attractiveness but wondering if she's ugly because "guys don't talk hit on her IRL." She wished men would. Several female posters also lamented in their replies that guys don't hit on them either and how "women don't have as many options as guys think."
So what exactly is going on here?
When I used to do cold approach, eg. in bars/clubs/malls the most common outcomes were: One word answers, their friend pulls them away, they pretend they can't hear me, they look annoyed, they say "I have a boyfriend" in the first few seconds/minutes. Only very rarely I'd get a positive reaction. So I'd have to do a lot of volume to benefit.
In some countries like the UK, cold approaching can now land you in jail as "harassment" if you do it to too many people. It's hard to get a read on how people feel about it given so many conflicting messages. It can be awkward and takes balls, but on the other hand, it's the ultimate "fuck you" to dating app culture where someone must "swipe right" on you before you can even speak.
What do you think about cold approach or what all this means?
submitted by No_Research3744 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 19:37 DinoHunter56 How do I overcome my insecurities about my body and how do I stop feeling second rate?

24 year old male here.
I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 years old and that I still suffer from feeling like a second class man because I didn't have success with women when I was younger.
I am insecure about my body. My height, my size, my facial structure. Also being Asian growing up in the Western world I feel as though women just don't have raw sexual attraction for Asian men the way they do for other races. It doesn't help that studies show that Asian men have the least success in dating apps.
In my opinion I don't fit the definition of what society considers "an attractive man" and I never will because of things totally out of my control such as my genetics. How do I not get hung up on this?
It has got me hugely depressed.
We live in a time where casual sex has become more socially acceptable and the majority of my sexual encounters have been within the confines of a relationship which has contributed to my feelings of being second rate.
I feel like I am not desired sexually, merely tolerated because I have other qualities to make up for it.
To put it into words when a woman looks at me I feel like she is thinking "Yeah he is a good guy and I would probably date him but if I was looking for a purely sexual relationship I would look elsewhere"
I have never felt lusted over in a raw primal way and it is always on my mind, sometimes to the point where it keeps me up at night.
I have even gone as far as thinking "I really don't see a point to living if I don't have genetics and physical attributes that the opposite sex is attracted to"
Please help.
submitted by DinoHunter56 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 09:47 lifelongstudent2003 My story...

Betrayed after giving my ex a second chance and lost on how to find closure and move on
I (20F) took my ex (23M) back and reconnecting with him was so exhilarating, he told me how sorry he was about last time and how he regretted it (we only lasted a month the first time). Note: I’m sorry if this is long but the story is messy and at the very least an interesting read so thank you to anyone who gets through the whole thing. We met on tinder and had instantaneous chemistry, we got along great (one of the main reasons he came back to me along with him being very fond of my appearance according to him). He was the one who initiated everything, he asked me out and only four days into knowing me he told me “the more I talk to you the better I feel.” I developed feelings for him and thought he did too by how much he talked to me and was attracted. He even deleted tinder a week into knowing me. The first time we FaceTimed it felt so natural, there was no awkwardness, and our personalities just clicked and we were both attracted too. I’ve never had sex before but this was the first guy I wanted it with (even though we never got around to that).
He ended it coldly out of the blue one day telling me that I lived too far away (were 50 km apart) and that he didn’t feel the same way, he was just being friendly, he didn’t reciprocate, he didn’t want to date me, I was too clingy and annoying, he didn’t have his own place, and that he just wasn’t interested in me anymore. Worst part is that he did it through text but I begged him to call me and he relented, but he told me that after that I want to move on. The phone call lasted an hour where I cried and he yelled and told me that we wouldn’t work. After the phone call I texted him a selfie of me flipping him off and he asked me “if I changed my mind again would you give up now?” And I said “omg you’re seriously doing this again?” He said “I am attracted to you” and “I said I don’t want a relationship right now.” I told him he hurt me and that I wasn’t his bitch. He told me that when he was ready we could meet but he’d only do it when he says and on his own conditions. However, at that moment we agreed to give each other space and I guess I wanted to cling onto the tiny bit of hope that he would stay. We didn’t talk for a few days aside from sending each other songs. Ultimately, he told me that he made up his mind and that he wasn’t interested and that he didn’t want to meet anymore. I just couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye so I asked him if things changed in the future would he want to meet me. He said he would for sure. I told him that’s why it’s better to leave things open ended. He agreed. The last thing I said to him was okay well text me some other time. And the last thing he said was okay. He never did (well not that I expected).
After this text conversation I screamed as loud as I could and cried my heart out. It felt like my heart was cut in two, it was the first time I experienced a break up and he was the first guy I fell for. It was very painful for me and I cried for months on end. I felt like there was an empty hole where my heart was supposed to be and I was just terrified that it was possible for me to love someone this much. I don’t know why I feel this way about him but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he’s my soulmate despite the negatives on the virtue of the way he makes me feel alone. I tried to move on and I think I got there halfway, I accepted that the distance was something I couldn’t control and that he wouldn’t come back. The most painful part of my breakup with him was not even the fact it ended but never being able to see how it would turn out. I was deeply hurt by all the what ifs and how we could’ve been great together but circumstances fit in the way. 6 months later I download tinder again and 20 minutes into using the app, I see that he’s swiped right on me. I felt completely shocked, my heart literally skipped a beat and I cried myself to sleep that night. I left it for a few days not wanting to swipe left or right, but 4 days in I realize that it’s his birthday today. I swiped right on midnight and messaged him saying I remembered his birthday. The next morning I wake up and see, “it is and thank you for remembering. We should go out officially now. I have my own place as of next week. I’m very sorry about last time, I realized I kind of fucked up, you’re a keeper and I’m glad I found you again. I’m really sorry I didn’t take you for granted. I really want to be with you.” He asked me if I wanted to take a shot and be together. I told him “ugh you know I can’t say no to you.”
I just couldn’t believe that the guy I never thought would come back, came back. And so strongly and intensely too (he was flirty with me before but in a relaxed and reserved way). He finally showed me a side of him that was emotional and vulnerable. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to build something real. I asked him “where was this side of you before then?” He said, “good question, I’m not sure.” He was very intense (a change from his relaxed, chill attitude from last time), he talked about us being meant to be together, how beautiful our future children would be, moving in. He constantly flattered me and always praised my appearance and told me that I was special and different from the other girls in his past, because “I cared about him unlike the other ones.” He was also very sexual and he would always discuss his sexual desires and get me to send nudes so he could masturbate. He did however say that he’s just speaking his mind and that I don’t have to do anything. He did ask me if I consented. I don’t know why he wanted them because he watches porn daily (particularly milfs which doesn’t match my body type). I welcomed this because he made me feel desirable and helped him carry out his fantasies. He texted me all the time and we had such an amazing connection. He even said that he was willing to drive four hours to pick me up and drop me off to his own place (which he never wanted to do before). The honeymoon phase eventually started to ebb away but he still seemed into it. I made him promise me he wouldn’t change his mind because I didn’t wanna relive the past and he swore he wouldn’t and would do whatever he could to make it work. We never got into arguments the first time but there were a few problems starting to emerge. I got upset with him when he refused to add me on Facebook because according to him I was too nosy and I would ask him too many questions about his past and things he wanted to forget. I was hurt by him not wanting me there and I suspected he had something to hide. He repeatedly denied having something to hide and he said it was because I was too nosy. We argued about this back and forth but he still refused (even though he told me he wanted to make up for last time by giving me “whatever my heart desires”).
This act didn’t sit well with me and it started to create resentment for him in me (a feeling I didn’t even know was possible to have with someone I’ve loved this much and have wanted to badly). Another thing I have to mention about him is that he’s had 10 exes (longest one being for a year), slept with 20 girls, and he’s only 24. A part of me felt really flattered that he would choose me above all the others (he told me that I was special and he cared about me a lot because I cared about him unlike the other ones) but the other part of me saw this as being a red flag. I don’t know if it’s unfair or not because he was young and not all the relationships were serious but it made me wonder what the issues were on his end. Another thing that became a huge problem was his refusal to get tested. He told me from the very start that he prefers unprotected sex because of the intimacy and pleasure. I got on the pill for him. One day we started off as any other day (happily and lovingly), I told him that I dreamt of us the night before and we were just so happy in it. He said that was so sweet of me and that he couldn’t wait to see me.
He then had to go back to work and I went to go do my own thing. I stumbled across an article on sociopaths in relationships (I was irked by the timing and felt off about things especially with the social media stuff) and it discussed all their habits such as love-bombing, subsequent emotional withdrawal, and instability. I started to wonder if it was all a lie and if I was manipulated this whole time. I became kinda afraid of him and a little worried for myself. I started to secretly resent him (I never thought this possible but I’m proud of myself for achieving such a feeling towards him if that makes sense) but I didn’t wanna break it off because I’ve made good memories with him and am still emotionally attached (which was why I took him back). A couple of hours after the “dream” conversation and reading the article, I decided to test him (we were planning on meeting two days from that point and had been taking for three weeks), I told him that I missed a pill. He immediately texted back saying I needed to set an alarm. I then told him I fell asleep before taking it. I asked him, “are you seriously blaming me for that?” He said, “yeah I am. I wanted to see you but you changed your mind and didn’t take the pill like you were supposed to.” I then proceeded to tell him that I wanted him to get tested or we could have condom sex the first time. He said he would rather wait a month because raw sex was important and it wouldn’t be the same otherwise. I was worried about his refusal to get tested and he got really mad at me for missing the pill and for interfering with our plans so soon before meeting. He told me, “Jesus Christ I’m mad. I wanted to see you but now I’m getting frustrated with you. I was supposed to see you this week, just fucking do it and stop worrying about stupid shit! This stupid shit is keeping us apart. Fucking stupid. That’s why I get annoyed. If you told me this was a concern earlier I would be more understanding.” I told him I was caught up in the excitement of reconnecting after so long and wasn’t thinking of practical matters. He said, “you don’t trust me? I have no diseases or anything, you’re not going to get pregnant, just trust me here please.” I said it was risky to have raw sex right now but we could still meet if he wanted to. He said “okay let’s meet then.” To be fair, he never said we had to have penetrative sex the first time meeting, I was the one who kept that up because I wanted to lose my virginity and I wanted to show him I cared by letting him get something out of driving so much. He then cut the conversation abruptly and told me that he wasn’t going to get tested during coronavirus and risk getting sick. Although, he repeatedly asked me when i was going to figure out the birth control and get on the pill. I was really upset by how I did something for him and he wouldn’t for me. I asked him if he still cared and he said, “I’d care more if you just trusted me and met like how we were originally supposed to.” I told him that it wasn’t safe right now and my dad was sick (this was in mid-March while quarantine started). He said he understood and we’d make it work and we’d find another time to see each other.
I asked him when he would get tested and he got really annoyed saying that he was really upset with me cancelling on him and how this stupid shut was keeping us apart (“if you want to be with me then just see me and go with the flow”). I told him that I was willing to wait and that he didn’t want to get tested while coronavirus was a thing and risk getting infected (I can see his side of this so I don’t know if it’s a red flag or not). He was anyway very adamant about not having any stds and he told me had no symptoms and hadn’t had sex in a year. I just let it go in the moment but this along with the Facebook thing resurfaced in a few more arguments. One night after another argument he said that he had to be honest and said that “I dong know if we’re a good match lol because we fight and argue a lot.” I said “yeah we do” and then he said “all i want is for me to see you and you forget the testing and Facebook and all the other bullshit.” I told him we could see each other he said to leave it at that then. I was starting to have doubts but I couldn’t bring myself to end it (I have a habit of clinging onto good memories) but he showed me a side of him that I didn’t know about. I could surmise he was selfish because the way he walked out on me the first time was very cold due to the way he did it. I’m glad he came back because I finally got to confront him about it. He told me that he said all those things to get me off the phone because I was very attached and he had to let go at the time because he couldn’t see a way to make it work without having his own place. It was nonetheless a very selfish thing to do, it negatively impacted my mental health and I constantly thought about how confusing it all was and became obsessed with the situation.
Some background knowledge on my ex: he comes from a middle-class white background and grew up in a stable family environment. His parents were married until his mother’s death and I am fairly certain he has a good relationship with his family, however he did say insulting things about his sister in law, how she’s annoying, how he would never want a woman who acts like her, and very selfish. I don’t know what this woman is like so I can’t say if it’s valid or not. I also must mention that he only likes women of colour (brown and Asian girls not black women). He always praised my facial features like full lips, brown eyes, and light brown skin tone. I asked him why and he said it’s probably because of interracial porn or that he doesn’t like women who look like his blonde blue eyed mom. He has a university degree and a stable job and now his own place. I’ve talked to a few people who knew him as friends and they all said he was quiet and a friendly guy. However, he was always very bold and talkative with me in our FaceTime conversations. I’ve asked him more than once if he is bipolar and he has always denied this. He always got really upset whenever I brought up what happened last summer and he said that we can’t talk about it constantly or else he can’t do this. He also said that he can’t give me an answer I want anyway because he can’t remember what happened, yet he remembers random details like how I like wearing jeans?! He’s also slept with 20 women and has had ten ex-girlfriends, mostly having unprotected sex and he does not get tested after every new partner. He hates using condoms because he says that he doesn’t enjoy sex with them and they break on him because he can last up to an hour. He is intelligent, eloquent, well-spoken and has studied criminology in university and hopes to become a police officer. He should probably be familiar with personality disorders then. Do people like this know they have a problem? Another random thing is he told me how a video game storyline (red dead redemption 2) made him cry and think about life afterwards. It’s just so strange to me picturing this man cry, so I guess he isn’t afraid of feeling his emotions. Another thing that doesn’t sit well with me at all but I could be overanalyzing, I did some research and I found his mother’s obituary she passed away on March 22nd, on March 27th he uploads a selfie (in which he is wearing a tux so I’m assuming is for the funeral) smiling with the caption “rip momma.” I thought this was a really strange thing to do, if this happened to me I would certainly never post a picture of just myself. He also used this picture as a profile picture for many years and on his tinder and bumble profiles. Why would he do this?
One day (I guess I just finally had a breaking point because of thinking about all the old and new emotional baggage) and I texted him saying that his refusal to get tested was a serious problem for me and that if he didn’t want to get tested he could go find someone else who would have raw sex with him no questions asked because it wouldn’t be me. He texts back two hours later saying “alright that’s what I’ll do then. Take care.” Immediately after he responded waves of regret began to wash over me and I told him I changed my mind and I didn’t want him to leave and I really wanted to see him in person and not repeat last time. He agreed and said that “as long as you don’t bring up the Facebook or testing again.” I wasn’t happy about this but resigned because I didn’t want him to leave. The next day he texts me making small talk (our usual) I’m still very resentful of what went down the night before but didn’t want to bring up the testing or Facebook for fear of pushing him away again so I involuntarily unleashed my frustration and anger towards him in other ways. We started off talking about shows and our day but we eventually started to veer off topic to language and politics. He gets really mad at me for calling him sexist and objectifying me. He then very rashly says “I will block your number. I don’t think we should be together anymore. We never have good conversations.” I told him that I was shocked he would say this as we’ve had great times too. He told me that from now on we shouldn’t text as he gets very bad vibes from texting. I told him I wanted us to go back to normal. He said that everything can only be in person or FaceTiming.
Our conversations become less and less frequent and he refuses to FaceTime as he keeps telling me that he’s busy and too tired all the time all of a sudden. Naturally I become suspicious and find out that he’s rejoined tinder from one of my friends. He stops initiating any texts with me and I became really sad. I decided not to confront him through text about it because it would be better to do it in person. One day I just couldn’t take his silence and asked him what’s wrong, he said nothing’s wrong and he just needed space right now. I try to resolve our issues with him but he tells me he doesn’t want to talk. So I just leave it and become more resentful for being lied to. One day after like two weeks of not talking I ask him if he wants to FaceTime tomorrow afternoon he says, “okay I will try, I promise.” I text him the next day at the time we agreed to talk and he texts back hours later saying “sorry I took a nap lol.” I send him paragraph after paragraph on how he’s hurting me with his neglect and that we can fix things as long as he puts in the effort. He doesn’t respond and two hours later he texts me a paragraph saying that this wouldn’t work anymore, he doesn’t think were a good fit, he’s just not feeling it anymore, and how he’s kinda been talking to someone else lately too and he doesn’t want to lie to me. He also says the reasons it didn’t work the first time (with the distance) are coming back to him now. This is what angered me he promised me that if I took him back we wouldn’t go through that again. But I wasn’t gonna let him off the hook that easy this time, not after all his grandiose promises. I beg him to reconsider and to see me in person before writing it off. He reluctantly agrees but still doesn’t initiate conversation anymore. I just gave him space after that outburst for a few weeks until a few days ago where I texted him calmly about our problems. He responds saying that his only problem is that I sometimes overwhelm him with messages and often asking the same questions. I ask him to promise me to try and meet in person before my birthday in four weeks. He says he’ll try but it could be difficult with the quarantine. I ask him about the other girls and he says he’d rather communicate these things in person and not through text. I’m honestly not even jealous or mad about this, only sad. I used to feel so jealous of the thought of all the girls who were with him or will be with him but now I don’t. I guess this means something as I’m not resentful in that respect, but I don’t understand why I feel jealous. Is it not even because I’m moving on but I’ve been conditioned by him to be used to bad treatment?
One day I messaged a girl he was mutuals with on social media asking her if she could show me his following list and send me screenshots because I was hoping to find answers through other girls he may have talked to as he never gave me any. I wanted to know if he talked to them the same way he talked to me. The girl told him about what I did and he got very angry, he told me that he doesn’t care anymore, wants nothing to do with me, that it was very creepy and intrusive and that he’s done. He said coming back was a mistake and that he wishes the best for me and he’s sorry if he hurt me in the process. He said that he’s with someone else now and has been seeing them for a few weeks (I don’t think this is true not because I don’t want to believe it but because I saw him on tinder the same night this happened, I have a strong feeling he said this so I would let go like how he told me he wasn’t interested in me anymore last time). But either way all that matters is he doesn’t want me anymore. He said he’s pissed at me and this is the last straw. He said I’m annoying as shit, creepy, super clingy and we need to move on. He blocked me.
Did I mess up by contacting her? What would’ve happened if I hadn’t and we met in person? I’m regretting what I did because now I have to live with what ifs. However, I do know he treated me unkindly and I let him for those few moments of temporary happiness. I know deep down we have too much bad blood to have a future together now. He’s so unstable. He broke his promises. He told me I was special and different from all the others in the past. He showed me a lot of sincerity and vulnerability when he came back and I believed him. It’s hard to move on when this is the first person I had feelings for and he treated me like this. What do I do with the memories? The good ones and the bad. At this point I don’t know which is more painful.
I’m grateful that I never lost my virginity to this guy and never got into a real relationship with him because if he walked out on me after that I don’t know how I would’ve dealt with it. I wrote him a letter for closure, is it wise to send it? At the same time I want to to help me move on and at the same time I don’t because I don’t want to close this door forever. I don’t want to be with him, he doesn’t want me but I also don’t want to not be with him and I keep wishing that we met in another life, another time, another place, where we could be happy. I’m worried I’ll never be truly loved and that I’ll never truly love again. I really did love him selflessly and unconditionally. But he didn’t. I knew I cared more than he did but still I kept on letting him in because I hoped he would properly fall in love with me too.
What hurts is how he told me how happy he was to find me again, how it was destiny, how he was hoping that we were meant to be together, he was so crazy about me in the beginning and yet he still had no problem hurting me. I don’t understand how people change their minds, how their feelings change so quickly. I wish I could move on as easily as he could. But I know I’ll have to. I just don’t know how or when. Will someone like him ever truly love anyone? I wonder if he’s ever experienced proper heartbreak before,the kind where you feel as if your heart has been ripped from your chest and miss them beyond belief. That’s how I felt the first time he left. The second time, I had my doubts too, about his character, about his past, the fact he had so many exes, and how disrespectful he was to me before. I tried my best to look past it because I didn’t want to leave someone I loved so much and felt so connected to. I’m worried he’ll always be a part of me, that I’ll always look for his shadows in other guys. He said he was committed and because we had a few fights about him not adding me and getting tested, he started believing we were incompatible. Looking back, he didn’t care about a special bond or connection, he just wanted someone who would be agreeable and fulfil all his demands. These ‘connections’ are disposable to him.
It’s just hard to accept that this time it’s finally over. Or it may not be because of his track record. Why are some guys are like this? Does he have mental health issues? I always suspected it. Or is he just too broken to love? Or is he not capable of it in the first place? Do people like him even feel guilty about it? Do you think he’ll feel regret for losing someone who truly loved him? He did last time. What will happen in his future relationships? Is a guy like this ever capable of lifelong love? How do I move on? The first time he left all I did was cry for weeks reminiscing about the good times, the sweet things he said, the connection we had. This time I feel numb and in shock. I can’t think properly. I feel like a part of my brain is in shock. I don’t know what to do and I worry about him being my only soulmate because I’ve never felt this way before and worry I won’t again for anyone. I’ve tried dating other perfectly acceptable nice, funny, attractive (better than him on paper) guys but no one compared to the connection I had with him. Do I just have Stockholm syndrome? Am I just a love-bombed woman? I don’t think he was lying to me about his feelings, I think it was real in the moment but I slowly pushed him away because of my emotional baggage (which he caused anyway). But the fact that he was able to throw away something meaningful over such little things just shows that it never meant much to him. How do I reconcile what my brain understands and what my heart feels? How do I get over this? Being betrayed so deeply? Having promises that he was here to stay, that he just wants to love me and make me happy, that he’s committed completely broken? How will I deal with the trust issues that come from this? Is it really true that people always remember their first love, even if it was toxic and ended badly? Will I truly move on? Should I send him the letter for closure? Or is there some way I can find it on my own? How will I know when I have moved on?
This is what I wrote in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. I had a complete breakdown and honestly went insane for a bit. That feeling dissipated pretty quickly this time surprisingly enough, and I was normal (although sad and angry) after like two weeks. On May 31st in the evening (5 days after my birthday and three weeks after our breakup) he messages me the most tone-deaf delusional thing ever. I honestly wonder if he’s trying to trick me or something because it’s so ridiculous, it can’t be serious, right? I wish I could understand his depraved, narcissistic brain. He wrote, “Hey, Which of the people associated with me on Facebook and Instagram did you message about me? Please for my own sake of mind let me know as some of them are ignoring me or not responding to me now I just want to know. Thank you” (I must note that he left out the period at the end and his word choice was very repetitive, I feel like with him I need to psychoanalyze every little thing). I don’t understand why he would send me this, what could be the meaning of this? What reaction could he be hoping for? I know for a fact that the girls I messaged about him don’t talk to him because they told me this. I also know that he didn’t “find someone else” when we broke up. I know that he wasn’t with someone else when he sent me that, but I know that he was looking for a replacement online. I’m not sure how to respond, it’s been four months since I ghosted him and now that he’s kept me unblocked, I don’t know if I should use this opportunity to get the last word in and tell him how awful he is. I am past the stage of being sad and wanting him back. I never felt jealous interestingly enough and I actually feel sorry for the next woman who he will mistreat. I do however want revenge and I want to make him suffer as he made me suffer. Please help me analyze my mental state and his mind and behaviour. I have never felt more alone and empty.
submitted by lifelongstudent2003 to u/lifelongstudent2003 [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 06:51 la4wildcat 36 [m4f] orange county

Hello people. Lock down sucks right? does dating app not work for you either? Well i am a trying something new and i doubt it will work, but hey , you are not going to know if you do not try, right? A little about me, i am east-asian, on the shorter height (5'5-5'6) but not big. i've been told i am very care free, always down for adventure. perhaps there is someone out there.
submitted by la4wildcat to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 20:57 Alarming-Tennis-3881 Bf’s past preferences are making my BDD even worse

Unfortunately I was made painfully aware of my boyfriend’s preferences regarding women. And let’s just say it couldn’t be farther from my appearance. My height is my biggest issue and it’s pretty clear to me he liked girls who were a lot shorter than I am. When we first met he made some jokes about having ‘yellow fever’ but I think he was/is genuinely obsessed with Asian girls. He says that he was never serious and that he was just pretending/playing a charactenot being himself etc. He was in a discord group that I’m also in and I was able to see all the porn he’d posted in the NSFW channel (before we were dating) and it confirmed what I believed. When I said something about it, he once again said that he was just trying to get a reaction out of people but it seems pretty hard to believe that someone would go out of their way to find porn to post just to keep up with a character. He also posted dating app match screen shots and none of his matches were anything like me either. Meaning he only found Asian girls worth sharing with everyone even though he would have had plenty of matches with girls of other races. He insists that none of that was the ‘real him’ but it just feels like he’s trying to back peddle. I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts and I keep just thinking about all the things he posted and obsessing over how he hadn’t once posted a girl who looked anything like me. I’ve been spiraling and I don’t know what to do anymore. Any nice things he says to me just feel like he’s trying to placate me and it just makes me hate myself further. When I was single I would go down self hatred rabbit holes on the internet but now all I need to hate myself is my boyfriend. Every time I see a girl I think he would like it makes me want to die inside. I feel overwhelmed and like I’m drowning. He’s never been anything but good to me and it’s not fair to hold things against him that he did before we were dating but I don’t know how to feel like I’m what he wants. I feel disgusting and I can’t even shower with the lights on anymore. When he’s asleep I just go out into the living room and cry. I know I need therapy but I just wanted to vent because right now I don’t have any other options since he can’t make me feel any better and I can’t make all these terrible thoughts stop.
Also generic placations like ‘well he chose you’ don’t make me feel better because I feel like he’s only with me because he couldn’t get a cute girl to date him and he was tired of being alone.
submitted by Alarming-Tennis-3881 to BodyDysmorphia [link] [comments]


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https://preview.redd.it/td82zcllsxn51.jpg?width=318&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=05a6f4dae8c0df7d4fd1616c420063633d476845
submitted by PhatA18Sepl to u/PhatA18Sepl [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 09:00 Nietonoo 28 [M4F] Finland/Anywhere (Preferably EU). I'm looking for nerdy/special someone to start a serious relationship with and spend all of our lives living happily.

Hi!
I’m 28 years old Asian male from Finland, i'm 180cm long and i'm looking for a serious relationship to start with. Since the lockdown started i became very lonely and i don't have that much friends nor a girlfriend, so i decided to try to look for a girlfriend here on Reddit, i tried dating apps and so far no luck :/. I’m a very social interactive person and an easy going guy. As for my hobbies/interests, I enjoy reading books, going for a walk, playing videogames, cooking, watching Netflix and working out with Ring Fit Adventure :). I also love going to movie theatres to watch some upcoming hype movies, also I love cooking. Actually I started cooking back in February, so i'm still a newbie, and then I realized how interesting and fun this cooking can be, so i can't wait to try some old new recipes :D. I also go for a walk everyday during night to get some fat melted, so i don't just sit all day playing games :). I love traveling to foreign countries, but since this pandemic started, i started to save money for the future use. I have all kinds of consoles, but i preferably play on PC (Usually FFXIV, GW2, Paladins, story-driven games, JRPGs etc).
That’s pretty much it, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. :D
submitted by Nietonoo to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 02:14 Nietonoo 28 [M4F] Finland/Anywhere (Preferably EU) Looking for a nerdy/special someone to start a serious relationship with me.

Hi!
I’m 28 years old Asian male from Finland, i'm 180cm long and i'm looking for a serious relationship to start with. Since the lockdown started i became very lonely and i don't have that much friends nor a girlfriend, so i decided to try to look for a girlfriend here on Reddit, i tried dating apps and so far no luck :/. I’m a very social interactive person and an easy going guy. As for my hobbies/interests, I enjoy reading books, going for a walk, playing videogames, cooking, watching Netflix and working out with Ring Fit Adventure :). I also love going to movie theatres to watch some upcoming hype movies, also I love cooking. Actually I started cooking back in February, so i'm still a newbie, and then I realized how interesting and fun this cooking can be, so i can't wait to try some old new recipes :D. I also go for a walk everyday during night to get some fat melted, so i don't just sit all day playing games :). I love traveling to foreign countries, but since this pandemic started, i started to save money for the future use. I have all kinds of consoles, but i preferably play on PC (Usually FFXIV, GW2, Paladins, story-driven games, JRPGs etc).
That’s pretty much it, I’m looking forward to hearing from you. :D
submitted by Nietonoo to euro4euro [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 02:03 closetedlesbiangirl Have you been in an interracial relationship and would you be in one?

As a latebloomerlesbian of south asian origin i wonder if there are many interracial lesbian relationships. Ive been on dating apps and i don't want to say its based on race but i notice i don't get many swipes and friend requests as i send out.If you are in such a relationship would you make your partner feel special and beautiful even though she doesn't fit the mainstream idea of beauty and probably faces multiple levels of marginalisation. I think both partners should do that for each other.i have a white fwb she tries to show she is into me and likes our contrasting colours when we lie side by side. Sometimes i just feel like im an exotic sex toy even though she probably doesn't intend that. Sometimes when i ask her if we can do something special or if she could do something special for me she calls me needy. Is romance and sensuality something that is not desired anymore in today's world?
I like to do special things for her and buy her things. I work in the medical field so i help her with medications, appointments and i also help her friends. Somehow things seem off balance. She also helps me when i need help with fixing things. I don't want to leave her at the moment as she is the first person ive been completely sexual with and im in my 30s. I have this connection with her and her kids. I want to be there for her but i worry in the end she may get bored and leave me. Which is fine that's upto her. Ive just been conditioned with this view that if you care/love for someone you're there for them during tough times as well as good times. Sometimes she is present with me and does special things other times she prioritises her friends, interests over me even if ive driven many hours to visit her. Ive had to move few hrs away for work. Isnt a partner meant to want to spend time with you if you come to visit them from far? especially if she has got things for u and the kids. rather then do all their errands and have time for you in the middle of the night.i wish she would engage more in issues affecting me like with family/cultural issues, be out about us and give this relationship another label and be a safe place where i can vent. Maybe i expect too much. I like women of all background especially caucasian girls but i feel like its a one-sided love and not mutual at times. It sometimes sucks being a double minority who discovered herself late in life. She too is a latebloomer lesbian previously in relationships with men. For me she is my second relationship and first non long distance one.
Guess im just looking for tips to help me getting her to understand me and maybe have some more initiative.
submitted by closetedlesbiangirl to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 09:00 RustyCrowbarThingy A tale of two of my childhood friends

Sup. Prepare a nice warm drink and sit your butt down for this 'un. It'll be long and rambly.
This here will be a ramble about two chums from my childhood. They aren't people I've totally cut off from my life. Nor did they (at least to my knowledge) cut me off. But they went from being two people I was really close with growing up to two distant, awkward acquaintances that occasionally cross my mind, but idk if a we could truly revive those past friendships. Maybe it's pathetic that I still have a sympathetic spot for them but ehhh.
I still care for them and wish them the well. But as we are now, I've probably outgrown them (and they might've, from their perspective, outgrown or forgotten me.) I lump these two together in my memory. Not because they still hang out. But I felt an almost family-like connection with both of them growing up. And I kinda miss that. And we all went to the same grade school and were affiliated in multiple groups together outside of school.
Let's call one of them Bunny. Because she had a bunny and liked putting her hair up into buns. Let's call the other one Billy. Okay? Okay.
Bunny was like an awkward yet endearing older sister that I turned to when I was bullied and outcasted for being small and weird. Over time we bonded over shared interests and shared a bunch of insiders. It was a lot of fun back then and a break from reality. We'd talk about how when we're super old these ridiculous outside jokes and our family like dynamic would continue.
We also kinda talked shit about the people who looked down on us. We at some point started to make weird conspiracy theories about the more normal/popular people in our respective classes. (She and Billy were a year above me.) Come to think of it, as funny as this all was back at the time, it was our ways of unhealthily coping with our respective feelings of alienation/escaping reality to an extent.
Billy who knew us both in and out of school would occasionally say high to us and troll us as guy friends would troll their obnoxious female friends at that age. The intent was never mean. I think I knew that back then and even now. He allegedly did a similar thing with teasing his younger siblings. Also because I was truly obnoxious towards him too, perhaps in ways that might have at times been much for him, depending on whatever was going on in his life.
A fun trivia piece about Billy: Young me was *infatuated* and absolutely hated it. He'd try to say hi, I'd run away, he'd be confused, and then I'd internally crumble in embarrassment and shame when interrogated by my mom. I didn't want my strict Asian parents to catch wind of my liking him. Even worse because they were once pretty close to his parents and our respective moms would eat that shit up if they found out. Also due to crappy family dynamics, I saw any lovey-dovey stuff and crushes as a weakness/distraction. Almost like a sickness that makes people do stupid things they'd regret later. So in middle school I started to treat him as an arch-nemesis (and even proudly talked about this antagonizing to Bunny.)
It kinda hurt me, treating him like that. Not just because of the effort it took to hide my feelings. But because sometimes I got the gist that he had stuff on his plate that he was going through. But out of both shyness/pride issues, I never really inquired or tried to be supportive of him.
---
Eventually, we all graduated middle school and moved onto high school. As luck would have it, Billy and I ended up in the same high school. Without Bunny, I figured that I needed to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to become more competent. Like in those coming-of-age teen flicks, I worked on my physical health and social skills, eventually making a decent circle of friends. Emboldened by my progress, impatience, and (uh oh) an Anonymous Confessions type app on Facebook (back when it was fresh and you could 'Become a Fan' of things, haha!) I confessed to him and made it a funny guessing game of sorts. At the time I knew there was a good chance of being rejected. But I wanted to get it out of my system so I could continue moving forward and out of my comfort zone.
Unsurprisingly I got rejected. Because this ain't no romcom anime where the guy starts to see the tsundere as a more vulnerable girl and then gets all smitten. It sucked. But I still laughed at the way he worded that rejection. "I don't think I'd be comfortable dating you." I laughed because in my eyes, it was a confession. Not a "please go out with me."
And my dumbass would eventually learn that rejection is also awkward from the POV of the person who does the rejecting. And that giving the rejected person space is generally an act of kindness and avoiding awkwardness. And hell yeah, our future interactions were awkward.
Our falling out happened more gradually and naturally, as we were into different things and friend groups.
But enough of that for now. Onto Bunny.

The falling out with Bunny on my end was more hesitant, vexing, and melancholic. It started to happen in college (as did my own mental epiphanies and consequential falling out with Billy.) It was a series of things, really. Over time, she stopped replying to my texts (or she'd reply but it'd be very curt and brief before she abandons the convo again without a goodbye.)
And yet she'd sometimes spontaneously message me about needing my help with things/events at the last minute. Which I thought was ironic given how she'd often complain about her other friends asking/cancelling things at the last moment.
During times we'd hang out, I started to notice a few things.
1) She had a new best friend who she'd mention a lot. She'd bring up all the inside jokes and I'd be confused and internally kinda 'oof.'
2) Her friend group (as she talked about them) was pretty dang problematic.
3) I introduced her to my current boyfriend and his sister. His sister (who has a pretty good read on people) felt annoyed for me, due to Bunny's general tone and tendency to cut me off only to talk slowly and dramatically. I initially thought nothing of that. Thinking (yay! Bunny's finally finding her voice!) and of how we used to talk shit back in middle school.
But then that hit me.
Back in freaking middle school. A time I'd come to dub as my toxic years. *sigh*
4) This is the real kicker here. I've had the (mis)fortune of seeing the problematic friend group dynamic in action during a few events I've went to with them. But given Bunny's rants, and given how *all* the events had some sort of underlying drama that I didn't want to get too involved in, I started to notice the problematic pattern. Most of the friend group was some sorta dysfunctional, immature, and careless in a way that would trigger everyone else in the friend group like firecrackers. Also, I've started to realize that Bunny can be *scary* when she's pissed and can lash out at anything and anyone in a way that'd make the situation even more worse.
And then she'd cry about it and apologize, guilting you with the "I'm such a terrible friend. I didn't want to do this. But I *had* to!"
Now don't get me wrong. I know the mindset she's coming from. It mirrors the dysfunction in her family and her own unpleasant past, which I'm not a stranger to. And I too had shades of that same toxicity/anger. And as I'm not perfect, I too sometimes get pretty angry about stuff, but usually not in a way that's unleashed at other people.
I really tried. Tried to be that persistent friend that'd see her out of that darkness. Actually, my hand is still extended if she chooses to work on herself and stop making dang excuses to stay stuck in her toxic household and stuck with a group of friends that she perhaps latches onto out of convenience and loneliness.
But that's on her, not me.

As for Billy... half of my mind wants to make amends to the past awkwardness. That half of my mind misses the friendly rivalry. Wishes that I made that dynamic flow more naturally--as both a friend and as someone who could occasionally challenge him *because* I admired his abilities in our shared hobbies and not because of some hiding of awkward feelings. But the other half of my mind occasionally sees his posts on social media. He's changed quite a bit himself. Very different interests. Very different ideologies. Realistically speaking, a close friendship between us would be forced because we're pretty dang different. If he were some random I just met without any past connections, we'd probably not click. Maybe if we pushed enough, it'd lead to *actual* resentment. Oh the irony.

But even if I no longer consider Bunny or Billy to be close to me, a part of my heart really, *really* wants to thank them for being in my life. For being a huge chunk of why I'm the person I am today.
But I guess I don't have the balls to tell them that. At least not now.
So for now I guess they'll dwell in my memory ^^""""
submitted by RustyCrowbarThingy to lostafriend [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 21:28 benjy1994 Online dating expenditures

Hi, I would like to make this post about how much I have spent and what my experiences where with each different dating app/site i have used. I will detail them in the order that I first used.
Zoosk: 2x$29.99(Monthly subscription), $59.85(3 Month subcription), $99.95 (InApp Coins). Total:$219.78 ~ Started on Feb, 2019. The app and dating site is intuitive and easy to use, there are features which makes browsing through profiles easy and faster to look through. Messaging requieres a subscription. 0 Dates. 7 Notable message histories. 2 Incoming messages.
Tinder: $37.99(Gold), $24.99(Plus). Total: $62.98 ~ Started on July 2019. The app(android) is much more responsive than other dating apps, Theres a roullete feature which you can swipe to like or dislike different profiles. I can't tell for sure if swiping has any effects on what the roullete will show next after swiping, I think yes. The messaging system is nothing special but it works with subscription only. 0 Dates. 3 Notable message histories. 3 Incoming messages.
AsiaMe: $96.00(100 Message credits), 4x$21.00(3 Message credits) $9.99(2 Message credits). Total: $189.99 ~ Started on Aug 2019. The site and App(android) are basically the same. The profiles are arranged in grids and you can select potential profiles for messaging. Messaging requieres 2 Credits to send. Mostly Asian profiles some Indian profiles. 0 Dates. 4 Notable message histories. 100s incoming messages.
Honey Baby: 5x$89.99(38,200 Pins), $26.99(11,200 Pins) 10x$2.49(1,090 Pins) Total: $501.84 ~ Started on Aug 2019. The App requieres a working phone number, Profiles are on a search and listed vertically with small pictures. Messaging costs 150 Pins to send Some users are premium, and require up to 500 Pins to message, 250 Pins is the most common cost, some users asks you for Stars(100 Pin) to continue messaging with them or they don't respond. The app rewards you for daily attendance depending on your profile level. It rewards you 15 Pins for basic users, 50 Pins for Copper users, Silver Users get 100 Pins. There is a level that gives you 500 Pins for daily attendance (Platinum Level). You acquire Levels by purchasing pins. You get Silver level by spending more than $200, BUT if you stop paying for pins, after 1 month your level decreases. 0 Dates. 3 Notable message histories. 100s Incoming messages.
AsiaDating.com: $34.99(Platinum 1 Month). Total: $34.99 ~ Started on March 2020. Web browser based dating. The site contains a grid of pictures of potential profiles, You need a subscription to be able to read incoming messages. 0 Dates. 2 Notable message histories. 100s incoming messages.
Total expenditures: $1009.58
Personally, Had most fun with Honey baby. But Zoosk is more promising.
submitted by benjy1994 to dating [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 16:37 tequila_m0ckingb1rd I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship

I'm 22 (F) and I've never had a boyfriend. I'm just feeling really lost and want someone to go out with romantically. Because of coronavirus and Australia's strict laws, it's basically impossible to go on a date with someone. I have great friends who I catch up with regularly for online games and late night chats but I feel like it's just not the same as being with a partner. I really just want advice on what I can do once everything goes back to normal to attract the right person in my life.
A bit about me - I'm an Australian-born Asian with pretty chill parents. They were strict on me about boyfriends during high school hence why they sent me to an all-girls private school. I'm also graduating engineering at the end of this year and have a job lined up. I'm quite social at university being involved in numerous clubs and events. I've often been told by my engineering peers that I'm intimidating because of all my achievements, and the internships I've landed. I never had this go-getter attitude in highschool but ever since going to university, I've always felt like I needed to work twice as hard as my male peers to be successful in the engineering field. I just really hate how that's their perception of me as I always try my best to seem approachable. My close engineering friends always tell me they can't believe I've never had a boyfriend before. I feel like I'm great at making friends but I just never know how to flirt with people I like :/
I've had around three guys show interest in me since I started university but I wasn't attracted to them at all and I don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of it. Also, they were the same type of guys - always posting about relationships on social media, bragging about girls they're close with and just seeming really desperate so it was a big NO for me from the start. The last time I made out with someone was when I was 19 at a club. I basically told myself that I was never doing it again after a guy I kissed tried to follow me home. Luckily my guy friend came through and told him to F off. Never kissed anyone on a night out since then. I also haven't downloaded any dating apps i.e. Tinder, Bumble because of the stories my girl friends have told me. They just made it seem like such a waste of time since most people are just looking for something casual. Also, I hate the whole messaging thing since I feel like I never know what to say. I've always preferred physical connections and getting to know someone in person.
I've always been happy with who I am as a person and I do put some effort on how I look and present myself whenever I go out. My close friends always say how they admire me for being independent and successful at my age and I'm proud of myself but I feel like I'm missing out on the typical young adult experience by having zero romantic experience. I've always been a firm believer that the right person will come along at the right time but I've basically realised that I can't just go on about my life and wait for it to suddenly happen like in the movies.
TLDR; I'm a female 22 year old who's never been in a relationship and want advice on how to attract the right guy into my life. Any subtle flirting tips, opinions, or relationship advice are welcome :)
submitted by tequila_m0ckingb1rd to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 09:04 JackWangPistachios 100 cold approaches: What I've learned

Following up from my 85 cold approaches post I finally hit a 100 approaches and as requested by magicalbird I set out my 100-approach results and what I've learned from these 100 approaches. As with before I was inspired by Chris Deoudes'/GoodLookingLoser's 100 approach experiment.
I'm not going to talk as much about results (other than in the Appendix, sort of to set out that I know what I'm talking about), especially because results are highly dependent on your location, what type of girls you're targeting, your looks, your overall attractiveness, etc - this post is going to be about what I've learned and hopefully these are applicable to anyone thinking of doing cold approaches too.
  1. Cold approaches are much less efficient than online dating but is also way more freeing, fun, and more importantly it makes you feel like a man. Cold approach gives you immense abundance mentality, moreso than online dating.
Online dating is easy and efficient, way more so than cold approach. No doubts.
But cold approach is different. I can confidently say that I feel like I've grown more from the past 3 months of cold approach than I have from the last 6 years of Tinder.
Tinder is inherently reactive. You can only talk to girls who match you, you can only meet up with girls who respond to your messages. If you don't get any matches over a few days you might fret - oh no, how am I supposed to get laid now? With Tinder, you can only talk to as many hot girls who are your type as they match you. Reactive.
But cold approaching is proactive, just like a man should be. Men approach. You're going out and proactively seeking girls. If you do 100 approaches right now you will more likely than not get at least one date. With Tinder you're limited by how many girls are swiping right on you. With cold approach you can talk to as many hot girls who are your type as you see (I bet that you'll see at least one hot girl who's your type a day as you go about your day) - you're only limited by your balls. Proactive.
Tinder gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you're on the app for 2 months you'll likely get laid. While cold approach gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you do 500 approaches you'll likely get laid.
Of course practically Tinder you're still getting way more matches but do you see how psychologically cold approach is way more freeing?
Before I started cold approaching I'd see hot girls on the street and I wouldn't know how to approach. Of course I'd go back home and swipe Tinder out of frustration (and Tinder has treated me very well I'd fucked around 1 new girl a month for the last 6 years) but it'd still feel like something was missing from my life because I wasn't able to approach those random hot girls I saw on the street.
Now that I more or less have the "technique" of cold approach down I can confidently say that I no longer feel like anything's missing from my sex life (well, maybe night game...when bars/clubs open again).
  1. It's way easier to approach the girls that you find sexy - let your penis guide you
When I first started doing this I would go out and just do daygame "sets" to force myself past approach anxiety. I would find that it would be a struggle sometimes because I'd walk past 100 girls and I wouldn't feel the urge to approach any of them. But then one girl who is my type (tanned, slutty looking, athletic) would walk past and I would jog over from across the street just to approach them. It'd be super easy, I'd barely have approach anxiety.
The point is, your penis knows what type of girls you instinctually find hot, and it will literally guide you to talk to the girls you want to fuck.
If you're struggling to approach, it might just be that you're forcing yourself to approach girls that you don't find hot. Listen to your penis.
  1. If you do this enough you get a little dose of adrenaline in your body when your body knows that you could've approached but you pussied out - you don't get that dose of adrenaline if the circumstances aren't right
Starting at around approach 30-40, my body started giving me this weird adrenaline boost/sinking feeling in myself if I ever came across a girl I found sexy and the circumstances were right (ie it didn't violate any of my rules for approaching while preserving my reputation), but I pussied out. I think it was my body's way of telling me that I was a coward and urging me to approach.
Funnily enough, I never got that feeling if I didn't approach but the girl wasn't sexy or if the circumstances weren't right.
Listen to your body.
  1. It's all a numbers game.
Self explanatory. Most girls are not sexually available. Some might not find you attractive, maybe they hate Asian men, maybe they just don't like your style. But keep approaching and you'll eventually get laid (assuming you're socially normal and you look decent).
A memorable stretch was when I did a ton of approaches on a certain day, with really bad results...I was so close to giving up, then I thought to myself "just one more", and I got a makeout within 15 minutes on the last approach of the day.
You'll come across random stretches where it seems like every girl hates you...but you'll also come across stretches where every girl thinks you're hot. Life is random, embrace it.
  1. GoodLookingLoser's "handshake screening" method is effective but I would tread carefully because of #MeToo
For those who don't know the handshake screening method is this: when you shake their hand hold on to their hand for a bit longer than socially acceptable, if they keep holding on with you then they're almost certainly DTF or at least attracted to you. I think with all of my bangs, the girls had held onto my hand for at leasta few seconds longer than socially normal.
The classic GLL method is to hold on to their hand for as long as possible - girls who like you will genuinely let you hold onto their hand for minutes. However, this may or may not constitute assault, I don't know, so I would instead just hold onto their hand for 1-2 seconds longer than socially acceptable (of course, drop their hand immediately if they pull it away).
An ancillary point is something that all guys with high notch counts know - if a girl finds you hot she'll be very okay with you touching her.
  1. Phone numbers don't mean anything; IGs can get you dates/bangs
I think only something like 30% of the girls from whom I got a number actually went on a date with me.
2 of my 3 bangs were from where girls gave me their IG instead of their number.
  1. The most efficient way of doing cold approach is to just approach hot girls you see as you go about your day
Going out to do daygame "sarging" is an extremely inefficient and also demoralizing way of doing approaches because you're not getting anything done and also because if you go out to do "sarging" and you don't any results you'll be really sad (since happiness = results minus expectations).
The way that cold approach should fit inside your life is how you would imagine a cool/hot guy would do it - go about your day, and if you see a girl you like just go and talk to her. Will you look at that, GLL has a post about this already (...except i can't find it, so here's a video from GLL disciple MorePlatesMoreDates on the same subject).
  1. Where you hang about matters a lot in terms of how many hot girls there are - go where hot girls hang out
Sounds kind of contradictory to the above but the area where you are will vary dramatically in terms of how many hot girls there are. To take an extreme example in NYC if you're in an area that's mostly families or old people you could go hours without seeing any hot girls...but if you're at a mall where lots of college kids hang out then you're going to have so many choices.
I wouldn't go out of my way to go to malls just to "sarge" but I would do things like go to the mall to eat if I had a choice between two similar restaurants and the other restaurant was located in an area which was all old people. Little things that add maybe 10 minutes (or less) to your day but which give you dramatically more hot girls to approach.
Appendix 1: Final results.
100 approaches
37 numbers
10 dates (2 more dates in the pipeline from these 100 approaches - we'll see whether I can convert these into bangs)
9 makeouts (very high IMO, much higher than I expected)
3 bangs (a bit higher than what I expected, before I started I thought that I would need 100 approaches in order to get 1 bang)
submitted by JackWangPistachios to aznidentity [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 08:56 JackWangPistachios 100 cold approaches: what I've learned

Following up from my 85 cold approaches post I finally hit a 100 approaches and as requested by magicalbird I set out my 100-approach results and what I've learned from these 100 approaches. As with before I was inspired by Chris Deoudes'/GoodLookingLoser's 100 approach experiment.
I'm not going to talk as much about results (other than in the Appendix, sort of to set out that I know what I'm talking about), especially because results are highly dependent on your location, what type of girls you're targeting, your looks, your overall attractiveness, etc - this post is going to be about what I've learned and hopefully these are applicable to anyone thinking of doing cold approaches too.
  1. Cold approaches are much less efficient than online dating but is also way more freeing, fun, and more importantly it makes you feel like a man. Cold approach gives you immense abundance mentality, moreso than online dating.
Online dating is easy and efficient, way more so than cold approach. No doubts.
But cold approach is different. I can confidently say that I feel like I've grown more from the past 3 months of cold approach than I have from the last 6 years of Tinder.
Tinder is inherently reactive. You can only talk to girls who match you, you can only meet up with girls who respond to your messages. If you don't get any matches over a few days you might fret - oh no, how am I supposed to get laid now? With Tinder, you can only talk to as many hot girls who are your type as they match you. Reactive.
But cold approaching is proactive, just like a man should be. Men approach. You're going out and proactively seeking girls. If you do 100 approaches right now you will more likely than not get at least one date. With Tinder you're limited by how many girls are swiping right on you. With cold approach you can talk to as many hot girls who are your type as you see (I bet that you'll see at least one hot girl who's your type a day as you go about your day) - you're only limited by your balls. Proactive.
Tinder gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you're on the app for 2 months you'll likely get laid. While cold approach gives you abundance mentality in the sense that it tells you that if you do 500 approaches you'll likely get laid.
Of course practically Tinder you're still getting way more matches but do you see how psychologically cold approach is way more freeing?
Before I started cold approaching I'd see hot girls on the street and I wouldn't know how to approach. Of course I'd go back home and swipe Tinder out of frustration (and Tinder has treated me very well I'd fucked around 1 new girl a month for the last 6 years) but it'd still feel like something was missing from my life because I wasn't able to approach those random hot girls I saw on the street.
Now that I more or less have the "technique" of cold approach down I can confidently say that I no longer feel like anything's missing from my sex life (well, maybe night game...when bars/clubs open again).
  1. It's way easier to approach the girls that you find sexy - let your penis guide you
When I first started doing this I would go out and just do daygame "sets" to force myself past approach anxiety. I would find that it would be a struggle sometimes because I'd walk past 100 girls and I wouldn't feel the urge to approach any of them. But then one girl who is my type (tanned, slutty looking, athletic) would walk past and I would jog over from across the street just to approach them. It'd be super easy, I'd barely have approach anxiety.
The point is, your penis knows what type of girls you instinctually find hot, and it will literally guide you to talk to the girls you want to fuck.
If you're struggling to approach, it might just be that you're forcing yourself to approach girls that you don't find hot. Listen to your penis.
  1. If you do this enough you get a little dose of adrenaline in your body when your body knows that you could've approached but you pussied out - you don't get that dose of adrenaline if the circumstances aren't right
Starting at around approach 30-40, my body started giving me this weird adrenaline boost/sinking feeling in myself if I ever came across a girl I found sexy and the circumstances were right (ie it didn't violate any of my rules for approaching while preserving my reputation), but I pussied out. I think it was my body's way of telling me that I was a coward and urging me to approach.
Funnily enough, I never got that feeling if I didn't approach but the girl wasn't sexy or if the circumstances weren't right.
Listen to your body.
  1. It's all a numbers game.
Self explanatory. Most girls are not sexually available. Some might not find you attractive, maybe they hate Asian men, maybe they just don't like your style. But keep approaching and you'll eventually get laid (assuming you're socially normal and you look decent).
A memorable stretch was when I did a ton of approaches on a certain day, with really bad results...I was so close to giving up, then I thought to myself "just one more", and I got a makeout within 15 minutes on the last approach of the day.
You'll come across random stretches where it seems like every girl hates you...but you'll also come across stretches where every girl thinks you're hot. Life is random, embrace it.
  1. GoodLookingLoser's "handshake screening" method is effective but I would tread carefully because of #MeToo
For those who don't know the handshake screening method is this: when you shake their hand hold on to their hand for a bit longer than socially acceptable, if they keep holding on with you then they're almost certainly DTF or at least attracted to you. I think with all of my bangs, the girls had held onto my hand for at leasta few seconds longer than socially normal.
The classic GLL method is to hold on to their hand for as long as possible - girls who like you will genuinely let you hold onto their hand for minutes. However, this may or may not constitute assault, I don't know, so I would instead just hold onto their hand for 1-2 seconds longer than socially acceptable (of course, drop their hand immediately if they pull it away).
An ancillary point is something that all guys with high notch counts know - if a girl finds you hot she'll be very okay with you touching her.
  1. Phone numbers don't mean anything; IGs can get you dates/bangs
I think only something like 30% of the girls from whom I got a number actually went on a date with me.
2 of my 3 bangs were from where girls gave me their IG instead of their number.
  1. The most efficient way of doing cold approach is to just approach hot girls you see as you go about your day
Going out to do daygame "sarging" is an extremely inefficient and also demoralizing way of doing approaches because you're not getting anything done and also because if you go out to do "sarging" and you don't any results you'll be really sad (since happiness = results minus expectations).
The way that cold approach should fit inside your life is how you would imagine a cool/hot guy would do it - go about your day, and if you see a girl you like just go and talk to her. Will you look at that, GLL has a post about this already (...except i can't find it, so here's a video from GLL disciple MorePlatesMoreDates on the same subject).
  1. Where you hang about matters a lot in terms of how many hot girls there are - go where hot girls hang out
Sounds kind of contradictory to the above but the area where you are will vary dramatically in terms of how many hot girls there are. To take an extreme example in NYC if you're in an area that's mostly families or old people you could go hours without seeing any hot girls...but if you're at a mall where lots of college kids hang out then you're going to have so many choices.
I wouldn't go out of my way to go to malls just to "sarge" but I would do things like go to the mall to eat if I had a choice between two similar restaurants and the other restaurant was located in an area which was all old people. Little things that add maybe 10 minutes (or less) to your day but which give you dramatically more hot girls to approach.
Appendix 1: Final results.
100 approaches
37 numbers
10 dates (2 more dates in the pipeline from these 100 approaches - we'll see whether I can convert these into bangs)
9 makeouts (very high IMO, much higher than I expected)
3 bangs (a bit higher than what I expected, before I started I thought that I would need 100 approaches in order to get 1 bang)
submitted by JackWangPistachios to AsianMasculinity [link] [comments]


2020.09.14 02:40 FAANGcel I am what "they" call privileged and it's over

I promised not to browse the Incelosphere again but jfl
But of course I am 1.69m (almost 5ft7) and small frame in one of the tallest countries in Europe.
I literally have 3 dating apps installed, and I had 0 likes for weeks. Not even asians or curries like me. Everyone in the street is 1.75+ easily
Height is EVERYTHING nowadays
And I can't SEAmaxx because of Coronavirus
I just want to die I can't bear this loneliness anymore
submitted by FAANGcel to IncelsWithoutHate [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 18:55 swanlaike How I Got into Stanford (+ Harvard, Columbia, UPenn, Princeton) as an Average Student

As a sophomore attending Stanford, I wanted to share my journey of applying to college and the factors that made me stand out amongst my peers (hopefully, this will help your application process as well!). Honestly, I consider myself a 'Pro Ultra Deluxe Reddit Academia Lurker' because I have used Reddit for every single aspect of my application (finding free SAT/ACT practice tests, browsing other people's specs, jotting down tips from successful applicants), so I wanted to share my knowledge with the masses.
EDIT: I put "average" in the title, but I just want to mention that my test scores are definitely not average on a nationwide perspective. I was simply average compared to my graduating class. There were tons students in our class with better specs than me (better scores, better extracurriculars, higher math levels, more APs, full score subject test results, legacy students, sports scholar, ect). I titled this post in the scope of our own little high school bubble, so it may be misleading.
GENERAL INFO:
Why I Believed Others Were More Qualified
The school county that I attended was known for having one of the most rigorous and competitive academics in the nation. Naturally, the students who attended reflected those ideals. I had 300 volunteering hours, but that was absolute garbage compared to the girl who had been receiving awards for 1,500 service hours since MIDDLE SCHOOL ! There was also a good chunk of kids who were in a higher math level than me (and boyyyy were they arrogant...) These same kids would create functional computers from scratch, intern in the White House/NASA, win tons of gold medals in science olympiad (and placing first nationally), and all around just impossible things for teenagers to imagine. Stanford has been my dream school, but I quickly gave up on that idea when I learned a fellow classmate (who I deemed better than I ever would be) also had Stanford as their dream school. Let's call her, Emily -- Emily was the Asian daughter that I had always aspired to be: captain of the tennis club, champion of science awards, the booty-licker of all teachers, 1600 SAT score + perfect subject tests, conqueror of multivariable calculus, perfect report card since birth, 4.7 GPA, volunteered in an undeveloped country, coded a phone app, future pre-med neuroscience legend, leader of a church youth group, bold, brave, and oh yeah a snake. Emily always assumed that Stanford was going to accept her and BY GOD she had all the means to achieve it. She would use caffeine pills to stay up all night to study, hired tutors to co-write her essays, went to a monthly SAT training camp, convinced teachers to let her co-write the rec letters, made up stories in her personal essays to sound more impactful, and rehearsed interview questions with Ivy League alumnus, and who knows what else... Honestly, I thought all T20 schools were meant for people like her; cut-throat, competitive, insanely brilliant, and haughty. (I was pleasantly surprised when I arrived at Stanford and most people were actually...human... but 25% of students are still Emily replicas lmao)
I always knew that I would apply to some Ivys because I genuinely believed that I had at least a 10% shot with my standardized tests alone. However, I crossed out Stanford because that was reserved for Emily. In the afternoon of one wintery day, I received a surprising Facetime call from my friend. 'Yooooooo', she began in a sing-sang voice. 'Guess who applied for Stanford early decision and got denied? It was Emily!' she cackled. I think my heart stopped in that moment. I don't believe myself to be a cruel person; I genuinely felt bad for Emily who had dedicated her entire high school career into building a resumé for Stanford. Yet, I was proud of Stanford for being able to distinguish between an authentic student versus one with a fake persona. That night (2 days before the application deadline btw) I wrote my Stanford essays in a frenzy and sent them in. Spring brought joyous tears as I opened my application portal and read the magic word, 'Congratulations'.
Why I Got In (Realistic)
My Advice for 2020 Applicants

Good luck! Feel free to message me with questions about college, Stanford and the Ivys, or standardized testing. I'm here for you, just like the sub was here for me :)
p.s. Emily didn't get accepted into any T20 school
submitted by swanlaike to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 18:39 formulaGray Asians in Florida? Also teeth.

Hey all,
I'm gay and Asian. Are there any gay Asians here from or in Florida? I'm generally having a tough time finding any on apps and looking back, in daily interaction-- maybe it's because of my younger age demographic, but of course the problem with such apps is you're only going to find people who want to be found on those apps. Especially given the state of the world, are there any ways to meet other gay Asians in the area? The Southeast kind of sucks a lot in terms of this demographic? I just want to connect with people for any kind of relationship (friends, bros, hookups, etc.), so feel free to hmu if you are in the area!

On another note-- in your guys' honest opinion, how important are teeth to you when talking to and interacting with people? Do you dismiss guys from your dating pool if they bad teeth? Do you think about a guys' teeth when he's giving you head or opening his mouth to receive your load? For me, even though I'm fairly attractive and definitely not ugly, one thing I'm becoming increasingly insecure about is my teeth because of bad genetics and a bad upbringing, and I fear that it's something that outweighs even having a good personality and good outer layer. I appreciate people with good teeth and usually don't dismiss based on bad teeth-- unless they're a clear case of not brushing or cleaning at all. I plan on fixing my case in the future when I become more financially settled, but the present is certainly a bit unsettling.
submitted by formulaGray to gaysian [link] [comments]


2020.09.13 02:18 cestjamaisbon How can I help a Chinese friend that's a little hopeless about finding a boyfriend?

Hi everyone, first of all, I'm not asian and for that I'm posting it here since I feel that you guys will have a much more contextualized opinion.
I told him to look for LGBT organisations where he's at (outside China) in order to find his people and see other lgbt asians in real life and start to see other REAL people as romantic possibilities, since he's never had a boyfriend and only looks for guys in dating apps. I told him that dating apps can be tricky and I feel that they are starting to make him feel like he'll never find someone, that's why I suggested organising.
What do you guys think would be a good help for him?
Thanks in advance.
submitted by cestjamaisbon to gaysian [link] [comments]


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