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Confused!!

2020.09.23 17:49 saturnmoon1111 Confused!!

TW: mention of sexual assault. I need help sorting some feelings out as I am very confused. Thank you in advance.
This past year I have been going in and out of questioning my sexuality. I kind of have for a few years now but it’s been particularly aggressive for the past year. I haven’t tried to explore it because I’ve felt i don’t completely know who I am and the bi/lesbian community can be quite gate keepy. Even my bi/lesbian friends have denounced my ex-straight friends sexualities. I recently have accepted that I’m bi but I’m just not sure if I’m into men anymore tbh.
Here’s my confusion. This past year has been filled with a lot of reflecting, especially on past relationships. I have been in a lot of toxic/sexually abusive situations with men. All of my relationships with men, besides my current one, have been toxic in some capacity. When my boyfriend and I first started hooking up/dating I would get flash backs from past abuse. The past few months I’ve been trying to look at this abuse and heal it, but I’ve been wondering why I’ve been having a really hard time feeling comfortable having sex with my boyfriend. I’ve been reading a lot about what it’s like to be a victim/survivor of sexual assault and have related a lot to that but I’ve been thinking maybe my struggles are because I’m just not that into men.
Looking back at my past relationships/situation ships, there’s been very few I’ve been actually into. A lot of my feelings towards men have been me wanting attention from them and have been about wanting them to desire me. I used to get intensely upset being rejected by men. I have been deeply in love with men but I find for the most part it fades after the honey moon period. I thought I just haven’t found the right person until I met my current boyfriend. We have everything in common, we can spend all day everyday together and still have countless things to talk about, we have all the same hobbies, literally a match made in heaven. He’s the guy I’ve dreamt about. But I’m not sure if I’m super satisfied sexually, or even necessarily want to have sex with him anymore. I do sometimes but it’s always anxiety provoking and I feel disappointed after, even if I enjoy it. I’ve thought it was a sexual assault thing but now I’m not so sure. I’ve made out with women but I’ve never felt any passion/desire like I’ve felt with men. I’ve tried going on tinder and just looking at women but just felt like they’d be dope friends. Suddenly now though all I can think about is being sexual with women and being with women. I have such strong fantasies that I don’t seem to have about men anymore. Is this a result of coming out as bi?
I’ve come out to my boyfriend and that’s about it. He’s been very very supportive and also came out to me as well. He also thinks he might be a lot gayer than he thinks lol! My problem is is I feel like I’m leading him on. I love him so so much but I’m not sure if I can satisfy him or he can satisfy me. It’s breaking my heart. We have all these future plans together and it’s just all freaking me out. Is this a comphet thing? Am I just suffering the effects of abuse? Do I just need a break to heal myself?
TLDR; I’m confused about my sexuality. I’m not sure if my feelings are a result of trauma from sexual assault by men or if I am, in fact, just very gay even though I’ve never fallen in love with a woman and have never been satisfied from kissing women.
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2020.09.23 15:31 daprice82 Wrestling Observer Rewind ★ Sept. 16, 2002

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUSLY:
1-7-2002 1-14-2002 1-21-2002 1-28-2002
2-4-2002 2-11-2002 2-18-2002 2-25-2002
3-4-2002 3-11-2002 3-18-2002 3-25-2002
4-1-2002 4-8-2002 4-15-2002 4-22-2002
4-29-2002 5-6-2002 5-13-2002 5-20-2002
5-27-2002 6-3-2002 6-10-2002 6-17-2002
6-24-2002 7-1-2002 7-8-2002 7-15-2002
7-22-2002 7-29-2002 8-5-2002 8-12-2002
8-26-2002 9-2-2002 9-9-2002

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Sticking with the morning Wednesday posting schedule for now due to real-life job obligations. We'll see how it continues to go. Just gotta make it through 2002 somehow. And one final note, RIP to Road Warrior Animal. When I was a kid growing up on wrestling in the early 90s, Ultimate Warrior and Animal were my 2 favorites because I loved their face paint designs. I used to buy the paint kits from WWF Magazine so I could paint my face like them. Hawk's design was always simple and boring but Animal, with the spider in the middle of his head and all that, was the coolest to me.

  • Our top story this week is none other than Hot Lesbian Action! Dave says it was one of those moments where you'd want to bury your head in a hole if anyone was in the room watching the show with you. Coming off several bad weeks in a row and ratings bottoming out, plus the beginning of Monday Night Football, WWE decided to bring out the big guns and go back to what made them money in the past: controversy and sleaze. The entire show was built around the promise that viewers would see lesbians getting it on in the ring and everything else, the wrestling, the storylines...it was all secondary. Jerry Lawler "was the most annoying he's ever been" on this episode. It came off as a crass and desperate ratings grab and make no mistake: the TV stations that carry Raw were embarrassed by it too. TNN put out a statement saying, "TNN takes serious issue with the content of Monday night's WWE Raw episode, and has expressed its deep concern to the WWE. We don't condone the content of this episode, and will work diligently to ensure that similar occurrences do not appear again on our network." In Canada, TSN edited some of the segment out of the show and many stations in Europe did as well. 2 days prior to the show, someone from WWE (Dave thinks it was Bruce Prichard) reached out to UPW and brought in 2 of their valets, Looney Lane and Savvy, to portray the lesbians. Bischoff directed traffic as the two women got down to their underwear and began kissing but then the Island Boyz came out and destroyed them. Jamal in particular nailed Lane with a stiff superkick that legitimately bruised her ribs. Dave thinks this whole angle was pointless. Even if it leads to a one-week ratings boost, the TV networks have made it clear they weren't happy, so it's not like WWE can do it again or go further with it. So...what did it accomplish? (Sorry folks, you'll need to check the Network for video of this. I can only find the Stephanie McMahon HLA segment from Unforgiven, which we'll get to in 2 weeks. This segment seems to have been scrubbed from the internet).
  • This was followed up at the Smackdown tapings with the gay wedding build-up with Billy and Chuck, which got a little mainstream publicity in the days leading up to it. They were everywhere promoting it, but WWE also made it clear ahead of time that neither Billy Gunn or Chuck Palumbo are gay and that the whole thing was a publicity stunt. Howard Stern said WWE fans wouldn't want to see it and ESPN hosts Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon were calling it a desperate ratings grab and saying WWE would be finished after this angle. This angle hasn't aired on TV yet but Dave heard it ran really long and the Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy match afterwards got cut way short as a result. Dave knows Bischoff ended up being revealed as the minister and the Island Boyz came out again and beat everyone up, including Stephanie McMahon but that's all he knows. WWE was extremely concerned about this whole angle coming off as homophobic and confiscated a ton of signs at the doors of the arena, mostly the kind of homophobic stuff you're probably thinking (more on this next week obviously).
  • It's all but official that the recent PRIDE/K-1 event in Tokyo is going to go down as the highest grossing live sports entertainment event (wrestling or MMA) in history. The final number isn't confirmed, but the live gate surpassed the $7 million record that was set back in 1998 for Inoki's retirement match with Don Frye at the Tokyo Dome. The American record, held by Wrestlemania 18, is barely half that ($3.9 million). So yeah, pretty big hit.
  • Four days after being handed a world title, Triple H took on Brock Lesnar at Raw house shows this week in champion vs. champion matches. So much for making something like that feel special. Lesnar worked many Raw house shows this week because he was advertised for them weeks ago, back before WWE made the spur of the moment decision to move him to Smackdown exclusively. Regarding Triple H holding that title, as you can imagine, there's a good deal of talk about that backstage. Even people who aren't usually anti-Triple H are side-eyeing his relationship with Stephanie now and asking questions about just how powerful Triple H is becoming. With Rock and Austin gone for now, it's said that Triple H sees this as his time to be the top star of WWE, but Lesnar's rapid rise has clearly dwarfed Triple H in the last few months. So suddenly, Lesnar gets shipped off to Smackdown and Triple H is handed a world title with his own show to headline. Needless to say, it raised some eyebrows. Anyway, Lesnar is also working Smackdown house shows when it doesn't conflict with a Raw show and in Minnesota, they did the first ever Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle match, which is something that's been discussed as a potential Wrestlemania match down the road. Since it was Minnesota, Lesnar was a huge babyface and the match was said to be really good.
  • Wrestling book review time. First up, Bobby Heenan's autobiography "Bobby The Brain: Wrestling's Bad Boy Tells All" was written with the help of wrestling magazine writer Steve Anderson. There's not a lot of depth to the book, it's mostly a collection of amusing stories from his career. Heenan doesn't leave any shades of gray though, he makes it clear who he liked and disliked. He said his time in WCW was the 6 worst years of his life and only had good things to say about Hogan, Mike Tenay, and Ric Flair. Didn't seem like he cared for many other people in that company. He talked about how poorly run the promotion was and pointed to Goldberg's streak ending and the Fingerpoke of Doom moments as the beginning of the end of WCW. He said on the night of the fingerpoke, he and Tenay both realized the ship was sinking and said Tony Schiavone gave both of them shit for being negative and paranoid. Heenan had good things to say about Verne Gagne, making him one of the few people that does. And of course, he loved Gorilla Monsoon. He tore into Schiavone, WCW producer Craig Leathers, and Leathers' production assistant Annette Yother, who Heenan hated so much, he wouldn't even call her by her name in the book and insulted her throughout. Overall, it's entertaining, and not an embarrassment, but not a must-read or anything either.
  • There's another book on the history of St. Louis wrestling that he reviews, but it's more for historians and full of records and attendance figures and match cards from old St. Louis wrestling shows over the decades dating back to the 1800s. Dave figures this won't appeal to casual fans at all, but for historians or people (like him) who can use this sort of thing as a reference guide, it's invaluable.
  • Just for shits and giggles, when discussing top draws and drawing money, Dave does the all-time list of wrestlers who have headlined the most PPVs that did 1.0 buyrates or higher. Top 5 in case you're curious: Hulk Hogan (22), Steve Austin (20), Ric Flair (17), The Rock (17), and Triple H (9). This doesn't include Summerslam 2002, so if the final buyrate for that ends up breaking the 1.0 mark, then Rock will pass Flair on the list.
  • Zero-1 in Japan is trying to get Akira Maeda to come out of retirement to work matches with Shinya Hashimoto and Naoya Ogawa. They're also trying to get Riki Choshu involved as well. If you don't know the history, Maeda vs. Choshu would be a dream match based on their history. Back in 1987, during a match in NJPW, Maeda double-crossed Choshu for real and kicked him in the face as hard as he could, breaking Choshu's orbital bone. The incident got Maeda fired from NJPW but he used the publicity from it and revived the UWF promotion where he became their top star. Choshu and Maeda never had a match together again, although if they had, it would have done monster business. But it's been 15 years, so Dave isn't sure how big it would be today (this never happens. Maeda retired in 1995 and stayed retired).
  • Dave saw the 2 recent AJPW shows featuring Goldberg. It was fine. Goldberg had the biggest presence and star power on the show and got a great reaction. He looked great physically but didn't do much in the ring worth noting. Quick matches that got over well, but didn't set the world afire or anything.
  • Dream Stage, the parent company of PRIDE, is apparently getting involved in promoting pro wrestling as well, working with AJPW and with hopes to have more Goldberg involvement. The company purchased the rights to merchandise AJPW in the United States, which would one to think the idea is to put together an AJPW show in the U.S. with Goldberg on the card, or at the very least, sell DVDs of AJPW in the U.S. Dave thinks PRIDE has far more potential to catch on in the U.S. than AJPW does, even with Goldberg's involvement. MMA fans respect and accept PRIDE as a legitimate promotion here, but most wrestling fans don't care about anything other than WWE.
  • No real notes from NOAH's latest shows, but just wanted to mention that every time Dave recaps these shows, he comments on how good and how popular KENTA is becoming.
  • NJPW's latest tour kicked off and featured Chyna in tag matches working against men. Not just job guys either. She was in there against names like Jushin Liger and IWGP champion Yuji Nagata. After the first night, Chyna cut a promo challenging Nagata for the title. NJPW is in a tough spot here. The freak-show aspect of having Chyna wrestling men in NJPW is getting a lot of publicity and she's getting paid a lot, so they can't just job her out. But there's also a credibility issue. This isn't the big, muscular Chyna of 1997. It's the IWGP champion selling for a Playboy model. As you can imagine, all of the NJPW wrestlers hate working with her but, as Yuji Nagata once said, "Inoki bullshit, but you gotta go with it."
  • Speaking of Inoki bullshit, there's more. First of all, he talked about starting a promotion in the U.S. with Chyna as the top star and also said he's working to bring X-Pac and DDP to Japan. Dave thinks X-Pac in NJPW might not be a bad idea. But DDP is 1. retired due to injury and 2. still under WWE contract. Inoki also publicly invited several non-NJPW wrestlers to come participate in their upcoming Tokyo Dome show. In particular, he named Keiji Muto and Shinya Hashimoto. But both of them publicly turned him down, both saying they have no interest in doing anything with NJPW. Dave thinks it's a bad look when you try to do business in front of the public only to get embarrassingly turned down in public.
  • Other NJPW notes: American Dragon is debuting for the company in October. Hart family friend T.J. Wilson will be coming to NJPW later in the year, under the name Stampede Kid, doing a cowboy gimmick. Dave explains how Wilson is basically an honorary member of the Hart family and is incredibly talented.
  • With little advance notice, Ultimo Dragon made his in-ring return in his own Toryumon promotion, his first match since a botched surgery in WCW ended his career in 1998. They teased his arm being in bad shape and he sold it big when his opponent attacked it.
  • Dave had a long talk with Bret Hart this week, which is one of the few times in this newsletter I've ever seen Dave just outright say, "I talked to this person, here's what he told me." He says Hart is very positive on his outlook for recovery and is seeing major improvements over the last few weeks. He thinks within a month, you won't be able to tell by looking at him that he had a stroke. He's able to control his facial muscles better now and aside from weakness on his left side, he's starting to feel halfway normal again. He talked about the show in Montreal for Rougeau and said he did it as a favor because he had promised beforehand, but felt he wasn't ready and broke down crying in front of the crowd. He also said he doesn't think there's any connection between his stroke and the career-ending concussion he suffered from Goldberg in 1999. The issues were in different parts of the brain and doctors think they're unrelated.
  • Oprah Winfrey's show this week talked about the effect of professional wrestling on children and she and her guest (some guy who wrote a book about parents using TV as a babysitter) both agreed that wrestling teaches kids that violence is acceptable to resolve conflicts and that it degrades women.
  • Notes from Raw: William Regal joined the UnAmericans. Terri Runnels & Trish Stratus vs. Victoria & Stacy Keibler was so bad that Dave was praying for a Jackie Gayda run-in by the end. Dave thinks Victoria can be a big star, but they've done nothing to make her feel like anything special. Triple H has lost some weight and muscle mass and was moving better, but he also beat Spike Dudley with a sleeper hold, a move that hasn't been over in decades, and put the crowd to sleep faster than Spike.That being said, Dave thinks guys should have more than one finisher and it takes time to establish a move and get it over, so if this is the start of that, he's fine with it. And pretty much everything else was lesbians, lesbians, lesbians!
  • Steve Austin dropped divorce proceedings against Debra last week. Apparently they've decided to try to work it out (this clearly changes again soon. Their divorce ends up being finalized in February).
  • Random WWE notes: OVW held a big show with a bunch of now-WWE stars such as Lesnar, Orton, Cena, Rico, Victoria, and others all appearing, as well as Benoit. The OVW stars beat the WWE stars in most of the matches. Lesnar suffered a minor injury at the house show the night before, so WWE wouldn't let him wrestle, which is why they sent Benoit as a make-good. Tommy Dreamer's wedding next month is to former ECW valet Beulah McGuillicutty. Test got surgery to remove the gynaecomastia from his chest, same surgery the Rock and others have had. Speaking of surgery, Jerry Lawler had cosmetic surgery on his face as well, with work on his jawline and around his eyes. That's why he was wearing sunglasses on Raw or using binoculars when they cut to him during the HLA segment and why his face looked swollen. Dave says this isn't the first time, and as far back as 15 years ago, Lawler got surgery to get rid of the beginnings of a double-chin. Lilian Garcia signed a recording contract with Universal Records, with a single releasing next month.
  • Chris Jericho was on Bubba The Love Sponge's radio show, out of character. He said he's not interested in winning the WWE title anymore because he already accomplished all his wrestling goals, now he just wants to entertain fans and help get new stars over. He talked about how losing to Cena recently was his idea and he had to talk them into it. Hulk Hogan called in and put over how great Jericho is.
  • Nathan Jones won an appeal in the courts last week to get a work visa so he can come work in the U.S. He's been able to travel everywhere except the U.S., but an arrest from several years ago prevented him from getting a visa to work here, which is why WWE dropped his developmental contract. With that taken care of, Dave figures we'll probably see him in WWE soon.
  • Filming for Rock's next movie "Helldorado" was delayed due to the presence of an endangered species of bird called a Bell's Vireo bird. Until the bird leaves the area, they weren't allowed to film. That's hilarious.
NEXT WEDNESDAY: controversial fallout from both the HLA and Billy & Chuck angles, WWC in Puerto Rico has a disastrous weekend, details on death of a wrestler training with Dalip Singh, and more...
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2020.09.23 08:06 TheGamerican Straight Men going on Gay Apps - Women Abusing Men

As the title states, There is a lot of Straight men are more likely to end up on a gay app then on sites and apps like Tinder and Match. The gay apps in question are Grindr, WWWbears, Grrr, Growlr, Adam4Adam, and many more. But can anyone understand the reason why at all? Your guess is as good as mine. I honestly think at this point it has to do with the left's style of feminism has grown too much to be a waste land that only the "Wonder Womans" can live this this side of life. They never think twice about calling a man a misogynist. Even when a man has made no action or said anything to lead to this word being used.
I'll keep this simple. You can call me The G American. G is for the "gay" clearly. I'm in my late 20s and had many dates, relationships, and at the moment single and looking. However dating for myself has been a harder road then it was 7 years ago when I tried to use these apps and sites before. For the past 3 years trying to look for a real date and not just a one night stand. I honestly about done with just random hook ups, dates that only last for about 2 weeks at most. The longest relationship I had lasted about 6 years but the man I was with was not who I thought he was and is now in jail.
You can say yes I have picked up some bad apples and sadly the hard part of dating people is that you'll meet a lot of people you either do not get along with or some of them lie to your face. I will say Gay dating has been hard for me in 5 states now. California, Texas, Tennessee, Illinois, And lastly Missouri.
I would like to say I have given up trying at this point but I'm too stupid to stop trying. I do want a man in my life that is loving, cares for me, only wants me and me alone, makes jokes about really stupid people, has a level head, and is responsible. Yes being my type of man in the "looks" department is a hard one - I'm picky. But looks, age, and so on don't seem to matter to me as much anymore. Plus I have porn for that anyways. Just need someone who is not two faced.
When it comes to Straight men going onto the apps it's something a lot of people are asking. Why? Ever since the left side of our politics got bigger and louder, the actions of many people changed and gotten more rude, violent, and careless. This also changed how a lot of women that are in a relationship with men. A lot of the men tend to get abused by their female partners and most of the time if not all the time get turned off or turned away from wanting to be with a woman.
A lot of heterosexual men at this point feel trapped. When I went out on, about 13 dates, with men that used to only date women that same thing always came from their mouths about how mean and evil their ex wives or girlfriends turned into in recent years. And then they would wonder what it would be like to date another man. Sad to say, guys, this does not always work out for gay men. We might relate to some level but we have to face some harsh facts.
1.) We do not have female parts. Having sex with us gay men can and might be better for you! We gay guys know how to work the tools for sure. But the question is are you going to be able to keep doing it? Think about this. Because some of us want a strong relationship with a man that wouldn't think twice about cheating. Some guys might want a open relationship but then you put a lot at risk if you do that. Gay sex is very different in many ways and a lot of the hetero men back you in the middle of having a good time because of the fear they might have. And before you ask, no, this is not what being homophobic is.
2.) The life style is different. Every gay guy is different from feminine to masculine and even sometimes a mix between the two. We even have some Tom Boy types! So getting to know what you might be more "into" can be a bit harder because of where your coming from.
This isn't to bash you guys, at all. But it does make a lot of us worried about the future about our own spaces. You might not know this but behind closed doors a lot of gay men tend to make fun of straight men all the time for the actions they do and the words that comes from them. As the old saying goes "If he's straight then why the hell is he f***ing other dudes?"
We want you to be included into our lives as friends and all. But with the way things have been going for quite a while is not going very well.
Heterosexual: sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. AKA in terms of slang - Straight. No ifs and or buts about it.
When a heterosexual is thinking or wanting to be with the same sex then more than likely your are labeled as; Bi-curious. A term for a person, usually someone who is a heterosexual, who is curious or open about engaging in sexual activity with a person whose sex differs from that of their usual sexual partners.
Yes I am aware this is going to "trigger" some low lives. So at this point I'm going to rant off a few things. These will be personal opinions below.
Between us, the whole gender and sex topic from the left wants to include everyone in one pile up, and every time it from ugly looking freak with a dog collar on 24/7 that loves to think they are smarter then everyone and always right. Sadly they are not. Not everyone is going to have THE SAME LIFE STYLE! Don't listen to them they are just upset they can not get laid by Daniel Radcliffe.
What we do need to understand is this. If your wanting to try to date other men please make that perfectly clear. Do not hide it till the last second. Once you have been with another guy and figure out wither your gay, straight, or even bisexual, etc, etc. You should be good to go and not fear about being labeled gay or a fag.
To be honest every time someone yells at me "fag" or "omfg your f***ing gay? dude wtf!?" I fire back with jokes that make those fools stumble and fall. Very few will respect me afterwards. As for the ones that don't they really do not think that guys like me are able to defend themselves.
Ladies need to be more aware and treat their men better. Because a lot of these men that go on our apps are married to you girls STILL and go on the app to f*** other men behind your back. Yes it's bad enough if it was another woman. But from what I have seen many times before, when the husband cheats on their wife with another male, a lot more problems and confusion come up and sometimes this drives some of you ladies insane and do things you would not ever normally do. Some of the things I hear from your men and what you do to them that hurts them very badly and it has an effect. A lot of you stupid girls have been thought that being equal means you can treat men badly to get your way every time. Heck I meet more homophobic women then I do homophobic men.
If your goal is social justice, this is not that. This is just mental abuse. If it comes down to it, us gay men might just take your men away and treat them much better then you ever could. And we are more than happy to stay as far away from you. Leave you in the hole you dug.
The outside world is not a jail cell. We should not be going to the point where heterosexual men are almost forced to stray away from wanting to be with a woman.
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2020.09.23 01:37 adrenalizeme666 I just need to rant

So I’m 27, pretty masc, and am a huge metal head (Marilyn Manson, Otep, and In This Moment saved my life in high school) and moved to Vegas in 2015 from a very close minded small town in Iowa. I love this city’s diversity and it was the best decision I’ve made in my life.
Over the past five years I’ve come out of the closet and have finally come to terms with who I am and have a great friend group. I still have a hard time finding my place and getting comfortable in the gay community and still struggle with internalized homophobia instilled by my father and hometown, which I’m sure I’ll get over eventually. Problem is all my friends are straight guys and a lesbian couple, so I when I discovered this subreddit it’s been a real game changer and I’ve actually learned a lot.
Anyway, recently I’ve finally decided I deserved to be happy and dipped my toes into the dating pool. I’ve learned to accept that I can’t be picky since we have fewer options then straight guys so I went into this with a very open mind. I eventually match with a guy who checks all the boxes (appearance, interests, etc.) and we spend a few days chatting back and forth about about music and he turned out to be a huge metal head too, and this was the most conversation I’ve ever had on Tinder.
Things were going great and we kept talking about music and other things and he says Bring Me The Horizon is his favorite band, so I tell him “AMO” (BMTH fans probably know where this is headed, long story short it’s kind of a poppy album) and I get no response and I later found out he unmatched with me.
REALLY?? The fact that my taste in music isn’t heavy enough was a good enough reason to be a dealbreaker? 95% of these guys on this app have Beyoncé, Cardi, Gaga, etc. as their Spotify anthem (nothing wrong with that, we like what we like).. YOU GET WHAT YOU GET.
Are gay men really that superficial? It honestly really doesn’t bother me anymore and it turned out to be a pretty funny story. Maybe I’m not ready for that step in life. Plus I’m in my first year of recovery and there’s a global pandemic going on so it’s probably not a good idea anyway.
I know it’s long and pointless, and I’m ranting but I just had to bitch about it to someone.
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2020.09.22 22:08 nerdymj Update: I'm An Even Worse Person Than I Thought

After I came out as gay on social media, a friend left comment that made me feel invalidated by vaguely implying that I was a lesbian. I messaged him about the comment today, and since he took all day responding I thought he was ignoring me and refusing to apologize.Then he replied to my message, apologizing and saying he had meant that my family might be realized by the idea of me being since they are transphobic.
So now I'm the A-hole because I jumped to conclusions and made wrongful assumptions about him. I apologized for causing drama between us and for making assumptions about him. I really wouldn't blame him if he never wanted anything to do with me again. I am waiting to see if he forgives me before I do anything else.
I'm still confused, though, because I made a post calling him out over the weekend and he never responded. I don't know how he could missed that the post was meant for him unless he just didn't see it. The fact that he matched with me on a queer dating site years ago while I was pre-T makes it even more confusing. While I was out with my worker today, she said people usually say those things because of their own problems. Maybe he is attracted to trans guys and is confused by it???
Either way, its none my business and I am officially the biggest A-hole in existence.
submitted by nerdymj to ftm [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 17:51 LJWill91 I am 29 years old, make $170,000 base (plus $30-40,000 bonus and $30,000 vesting stock), live in Seattle and work as a Creative Project Manager in Tech

A little about me: I'm 29, British and Queer :) I moved from England to the US as part of a work transfer three years ago and love Seattle. My life has changed a lot over the past few years, I realized I was gay, moved to Seattle, stopped talking to my toxic mum, had a lotttttt of therapy and moved in with my partner, L. My financial knowledge has gone from 0-60 in the past three years thanks to personalfinance, a few finance books and moneydiariesactive. I'm an open book so ask any qs you'd like! I hope you enjoy!
Section One: Assets and Debt
Net Worth: $283,000
Retirement Balance:
401k $30,000
UK 401k $22,000
Index Funds $155,000
(Tip: I used the bankrate.com retirement calculator to figure out how much I actually need to invest for retirement each year. This really cleared up what I need to invest as a minimum each year to hit my retirement target, before I can decide what to live off and save for shorter term purchases e.g. a house.)
Equity if you're a homeowner:
$52,000 in an apartment in the UK (worth $275,000) that I’m selling right now. I bought it with my ex-boyfriend five years ago and loved living there at the time, but owning it since moving to the US has been a bad idea – it hasn’t gone up in value at all since I purchased in 2015, the rent my tenants pay doesn’t cover the mortgage and it requires lots of costly maintenance.
When I bought it, I received $12,000 towards a down payment from my mum. I have three brothers and I'm expecting brothers 2 and 3 to receive the same, but not brother 1, so I'm planning to give half of the $12,000 to him when the sale goes through.
Also, when I sell, I either owe $0, $15,000 or $30,000 to the US government as part of a tax law that assumes I've made profit because of changing exchange rates. Every accountant I speak to has a different answer, so let's see in January! At some point I'll use the rest of the money towards a down payment for a house in the US.
Savings account balance:
Emergency Fund $17,500
Holiday Fund $7,000
Fun Money $4500 (I might end up investing half of this in index funds)
Fund to cover capital gains tax for my 2020 tax bill $2029
Checking account balance:
I leave $1,500 per pay check in my account for living costs, plus enough to cover my rent and bills. I pay for all of my living costs on an Amex Delta credit card to get points and pay it off in full each month.
Credit card debt: $0
Student loan debt: $0. I completed a music degree in England (this cost $35,000 for three years of tuition, rent and living costs). My parents paid for my tuition, rent and 50% of my living costs, and I worked for them during the holidays to cover 50% of my living costs. Once I joined the working world, I realized how much of a big deal it was that they paid for my education and what a head start it gave me having no student debt. I am very grateful.
Anything else that’s applicable to you:
I had a privileged start, my parents paid for my education and I received $12,000 towards a house down payment. I graduated from University at 21, and whilst I have been financially independent since then, there is an emotional safety net that comes with knowing I could go home to my Dad if I needed to.
After working in England from 21-26, I moved to Seattle with $20,000 saved for retirement, $40,000 in my UK apartment and no other savings. My salary doubled moving to the US and as a result I’ve been able to save a lot over the past few years. A few years ago, my Dad suggested I read How To Own The World. It gave me a really great introduction to lots of different aspects of finance (inflation, saving, types of accounts, retirement etc) so I read a few other finance books, started following personalfinance and have had a massive shift in my attitude towards finances.
Section Two: Income and Income Progression
I graduated with a music degree aged 21 and decided that, although I loved music, I wasn't passionate enough to fight for a career in such a competitive field. Instead, I decided I'd like to explore a career that involved lots of people interaction and could pay well: sales. Since then I've ended up working in sales, marketing and engineering, all in tech.
- 2013 - $25,000 - I joined a tech company as a sales graduate selling Healthcare software. Direct selling wasn't a great match for my skillset.
- 2014 - $37,000 plus $30,000 in commission - After nine months, my manager suggested I moved to a technical sales role in the same company and I was given a $12,000 raise. I loved this role! Lots of presenting in formal sales processes.
- 2015 - $47,000 plus $30,000 bonus - After playing a major part in $3.5 million in sales in one year, I negotiated an additional $10,000.
- 2016 - $70,000 plus $30,000 bonus and a $5,000 stock award (vesting over 5 years) - I moved to a big tech company in a similar technical sales role and my salary jumped significantly.
- 2018 - $137,000 plus $30,000 bonus, an end of year $25,000 stock award (vesting over 5 years) and a one off $25,000 stock award for good performance (vesting over five years) - I relocated with the same company to the US in a marketing role and my salary doubled!
- 2019 - $160,000 plus $30,000 bonus and a $25,000 stock award (vesting over 5 years) - I took a new role in engineering as a Creative PM and my salary increased by 15%. A major driver for moving was being told promotions were off the table in my old team unless you had been in role for three years.
- 2020 - $170,000 plus $42,000 bonus and a $48,500 stock award (vesting over five years) - I was promoted in role and my salary increased.
It blows my mind that I earn this much money for a role that I enjoy so much. I'm very lucky.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $8,500 per month, after maxing my 401k, contributing $510 to my HSA and healthcare/taxes etc.
Any Other Income:
Having received stock awards every year for the past 5 years, I now have stock vesting every year that adds up to about $30,000 pre-tax. I immediately sell and invest in diversified index funds via Vanguard to minimize the risk that would come with having a large amount of my savings in the same company that pays my paycheck (if the company tanks, I'd lose my job and the stock would plummet in value).
I also receive an annual bonus of between 15-30%. This year it was 27% (an amazing, unexpected surprise), it’s usually around 20%. Last year I invested 90% and spent 10% on a vacation to Japan. This year it was a lot higher, so I invested 66%, saved 21% for moving costs/vacations next Summer and kept the rest as a fun fund.
I also get $1050 in rent for my UK apartment, but the mortgage is $1150, so I make a loss.
Other:
My income is completely separate to my partner, L. We take turns paying for groceries/meals out/trips and assume it evens out to 50/50. Right now, I earn a lot more than L, who is a medical resident and earns about $100,000, with no student debt, but we both live off about the same amount per year as I'm focused so heavily on investing.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent and utilities: $1,300/month for my half of a two bed, two bath in Fremont. I moved in with L, last month and we split the rent 50/50. Previously my rent was $2060/month for an open one bed in the Capitol Hill.
Extra costs for UK mortgage/management company fees: $500
Investment/savings: Until this month, I was investing $2,000- $2,500. Now that I’ve reached my investment target for the year (a combination of my bonus, savings and vested stock), I’m re-routing that to a savings fund in a HYSA for next Summer. I’m planning to relocate to the East Coast with L, and hoping to take the summer off between jobs.
Donations: $130/month to Black Lives Matter, Save the Children, an LGBT charity in England and a COVID relief fund. These are also matched by my employer 100%.
Cellphone: $30 in a shared plan with some friends
Wifi: $60 Subscriptions: Netflix $15, Amazon $14, AppleCare $12
Regular therapy: $160/month for two sessions with my UK therapist and $180/session roughly every 2-3 weeks with my tantra coach.
Living: I budget $3000 per month for living, therapy and tantra.
COVID-19: In current COVID times in Seattle, cases are being managed well by the city, we are in phase 2 and can meet up with 5 people per week who aren't in our household network and can go to restaurants with people in our household.
Tuesday:
7am - Bonus day! I start to think about what to do with some of the money in my fun fund. On my wishlist: Glittery Dr Martens 🥾, a vacuum that also steams floors, everything on the Olive website and lift tickets for 🎿 over winter.
8am - Work work work work work 🎶 Every day starts with calls with my team in India to review their product configuration progress. My role focuses around writing product pitches/demonstrations that sellers will deliver to customers. My days are spent talking to sellers about common customer requests, writing narratives to present the value of the products and designing screens to be built by my engineers/consultants.
9am - I spend $50 on an Amazon order for 🧼,🧴and English 🍫.
12pm - I accidentally start a small kitchen fire heating some heat pads in L’s dutch oven. The fire department was involved🔥😭
2pm - I have a call with a design lead about potential roles in their team. I'd love to expand my skillset into videos and 🙋🏼‍♀️
3pm - Our Imperfect Foods box arrives. This week we got eggs, veggies, fruits, goats cheese and gnocchi. $25, but I paid for this last week.
5pm - I go for an early dinner with L at Manolin to celebrate my bonus/destress after the fire🍴🍷 Restaurants are open in Seattle at 50% capacity and everyone wears masks. I pay. $150
8pm - Listen to records with L 🎶 and fall asleep at 9.30.
Total: $200
Wednesday:
8am - More calls, more feedback, more unblocking the engineers👩🏼‍💻
10am - I FaceTime catch up with my Dad ❤️ He just bought a house in the English countryside with his partner, L, and he gives me more excited updates about how renovations are going.
2pm - I get some excellent feedback about yesterday’s call, the manager wants me in his team 🙌🏻
6pm - Vegetarian taco night and cocktails with L ❤️🌮
8pm - I order a replacement pan after destroying L’s. $198
8.30pm - We start watching Normal People 📺
Total: $198
Thursday:
10am - My youngest brother schedules his first therapy appointment! 🙌🏻 I have three brothers and two are at high school or university and aren’t working. I believe we would all benefit from therapy, so this year I offered to pay for both of them. Now all four of us have been at some point ❤️ $59
12pm - Fire fighting at work, trying to fix products that keep breaking in time to deliver product demos to sellers next week 🔥💻
3pm - I do a trial recording with my colleague for a broadcast next week. 🎥🎞 The broadcast goes out to somewhere between 250,000-1,000,000 people. The broadcast is usually in a studio, but because of covid we’re shooting at home this time.
5pm - L comes home with a cuuuute new haircut 💁🏻‍♀️ and a new burner ring for our stove after it was damaged in the 🔥. L pays.
7pm - We make pizzas 🍕 and talk about what time togetheco existing/apart looks like for each of us. Moving in together is big and it helps to understand what makes each other feel good/not so good. The conversation is emotional and really helpful.
Total: $59
Friday:
8am - I have a morning of calls with India/England/US agreeing next steps/fire fighting 🔥
11am - I reflect on how writing a money diary is making me feel guilty about spending money, even if my “normal” spending fits into my budget and my “fun” spending comes from my bonus. One to talk about in therapy I think.
4pm - Another busy afternoon jumping between calls. A good rehearsal for the broadcast ✔️ good feedback on our demo content ✔️ next week planned out in Outlook ✔️
5pm - I meet with my tantra coach for a two hour session. I originally started going to see them to learn more about sex (🙌🏻) but have learned that tantra is much bigger than that, it’s an eastern tradition that is centered around connecting with your heart and body and being present. It’s had a massive impact on my ability to get out of my head. Today we focused on simple body exercises to get me more connected to my body. $200
7pm - L started a 30 hour shift this morning so I have a solo date night ❤️ bath-time + Quorn chicken nugget wraps (I love eating in the bath 😆) + TikTok ✌🏻
Total: $200
Saturday:
8am - I wake up and listen to Jameela Jamil and Katherine Ryan in the iWeigh podcast.
9am - I meditate 🧘🏼‍♀️. I started meditating 3-7 times per week six months ago using the Headspace app and it was a great intro. I’ve been resisting meditating for the past two weeks, and going to see my tantra coach has given me the umph to start again today. I do 20 minutes unguided.
10am - L comes home from work and we catch up before they sleep 💤 I spend the day in the bath, reading The Untethered Soul, eating fake sausage patties, eggs and sautéed tomatoes on toast, on reddit, watching Normal People and napping 🛀📚
6pm - I see my two best friends, N&V, a queer couple in Seattle ❤️ they know how to make me feel loved and buy all of my favorite foods for dinner ❤️ I uber there and back wearing a mask. $30
Total: $30
Sunday:
10am - I spend the morning eating eggs, veggies and fake chorizo, reading The Untethered Soul and The Simple Path to Wealth in the bath, and meditating.
1pm - I FaceTime my Dad and his partner, L ❤️
2pm - L and I spend the afternoon watching Ratchet, snoozing and walking to Gas Works park to get some fresh air.
6.30pm - We cook veggie bolognese with gnocchi and have some quality time after a crazy month of shifts for L.
10pm - L crashes and I order a Dyson vacuum with some of my bonus money #thisis29. $385
Total: $385
Monday:
7am - I wake up and meditate🧘🏼‍♀️
8am - Catch up calls with the India team. I have a fairly slow morning after that, agreeing deliverables for the week with our team.
12pm - I make sweet potato tacos for lunch using up ingredients in the fridge 🙌🏻🌮
4pm - I do a recording for the broadcast on Wednesday. Oh hey there hair, makeup and formal work clothes, where have you been hiding? 💄
5.30pm - L and I listen to a Lake Street Dive concert online on the porch 🎵
7.30pm - L buys groceries and we head for a socially distanced picnic outside.
Total: $0
Food + Drink: $160
Fun / Entertainment: $0
Home + Health: $644
Clothes + Beauty: $40
Transport: $30
Other: $198
Weekly Total: $1072
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
Writing this diary was good for me! It made me see some of the small, happy moments that happen each day.
All in all, apart from the vacuum that I bought with my bonus, this is average spending for me. I'm very conscious of not spending more than $700/week. This means if I have more expensive days, like days when I have to pay for therapy or tantra, I'll make sure I balance it out on other days.
I feel incredibly lucky that I have a high salary that gives me an incredibly good quality of life and enables me to save for the future. I have an "it's too good to be true" fear, so I'm focused on investing a lot right now to set myself up long term.
submitted by LJWill91 to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 08:09 ThrowRA_yeeeeeeet Advice needed on how to talk to conservative boyfriend (20) about LGBTQ issues.

My boyfriend (20) grew up in China, and I (19) grew up in North America. We met and started dating 8 months ago in college. I thought we were a really good match until about 3 months ago when the topic of LGBTQ rights was brought up. He confessed to me that he thought homosexuality was "unnatural", and if his friends ever come out to him, he would guide them towards the "right path" cuz homosexuality is "a bad choice". I was so disappointed, angry, and broke up with him right away. I've always supported the LGBTQ movement, especially cuz some of my best friends are part of the community.
A few days after we broke up, he messaged me saying he is willing to change his worldviews. I had some time to calm down and think through this. I know China is not particularly supportive of the community, and a lot of what he said was a direct result of misinformation from his upbringing and his religion (Christian). So I decided to give him a chance and if things don't work out, at least I will do what I can as an ally to educate him on this.
Fast forward a bit, we are at a place right now, where he agrees and understands that 1) sexuality is not a choice 2) being around gay people will not affect his sexuality (apparently many Chinese ppl think that you can become gay if you are exposed to homosexual ppl) 3) he will treat members of the LGBTQ community like how he treats heterosexual ppl. 4) he would not prevent me from supporting the community in any way 5) he is willing to attend pride parade if it is really important to me. This whole process made us a little closer. However, we have been struggling to agree on other aspects for awhile now. For example, he takes a very traditional view on "marriage" and believes that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. He thinks marriage is more of a ceremonial thing rather than a necessity for a happy couple regardless of sexuality. I asked him if he could vote, what would he do and he said he would not vote (I suppose voting is not a familiar concept in China). I asked him why, and he responded with it does not affect him and so he will not form an opinion on it. He lacks exposure to the community, which makes me think that that is why he dissociates himself from forming any opinion on marriage equality.
As someone who is very supportive of the LGBTQ movement, I find it uncomfortable to deal with this "neutral" viewpoint. I do want to stay with him because we still love each other and I can confirm that he is capable of changing for the better.
How do I change his mind about this? Am I being to obsessive about this? Should I just be content with his neutral stance and agree to disagree?
submitted by ThrowRA_yeeeeeeet to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.22 05:39 YeehawBebop 19 [M4M]

Howdy! I am finding myself posting here once again ~sigh~ (yes I’m copying and pasting)
Lonely gamer looking for someone to love me so I can love them back. Some games I play are overwatch, dead by daylight (my fave multiplayer) borderlands 2(fave single/multi player) and I have more but I forgot what they were
I LOVE Halloween and anything horror related including gore. I’m what you call a gore whore. Bonus points if you also enjoy spooky stuff
I’m from Georgia (yeehaw) but as a gay Mexican in the south things aren’t working out too well on dating apps
I’m 5’8 with an enormous heart but no one to give all this damn love and affection to :(
I’m a fast replier unless I’m in a match and I’ll ALWAYS hype you up and make you feel loved :)
I also really enjoy Scott Pilgrim vs The World. My first (and only) tattoo is actually Scott from the comics!
Well that’s all I can think of. Dm if interested :)
submitted by YeehawBebop to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 23:21 jtjerems Seeking advice - new to dating but not new to being gay!

Hey Bros! First time posting here, so be gentle please! :)
I’m looking for some advice and coaching regarding dating/hookup apps. I am VERY new to this… So first some background, I am 42 years old and really have not dated at all. I have identified as gay since I was 13 but never ever acted on it. All my friends know my preferences and I have never hidden my attraction to the same sex, and I am “out” to my family though I seriously question if they think it is true as I have never been in a relationship. One of those reasons is I never really felt comfortable in my own skin, and developed a pretty bad binge eating disorder and once weighed over 400 pounds. I have never felt desirable or attractive in any way.
Cut to today, and I have lost over 200 pounds in the past year and a half. I am just starting to feel more comfortable with my body, though I still want to lose about 50 more pounds and am dealing with loose skin from the weight loss. The loose skin definitely doesn’t help my confidence, but it’s a battle scar I am proud of at this point.
That being said, I really would like to meet people and see where it goes. I joined a few apps but I am truly wondering if this is the way to go? It’s been a little frustrating since I will “match” with someone, send them a message, and then nothing. Or they will reach out to me, and I will respond, then nothing… I am beginning to wonder if I am just teflon when it comes to guys…
I was just getting out more to social events and functions to put myself out there, and then of course COVID… Maybe it’s a sign I am not ready? I really hate to use that as an excuse. I have waited 42 years, will I ever meet my prince? Sorry for the lengthy message just wondering if anyone can provide any tips or guidance.
Thanks!
submitted by jtjerems to AskGaybrosOver30 [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 23:07 YeehawBebop 19 [M4M]

Howdy! I am finding myself posting here once again ~sigh~ (yes I’m copying and pasting)
Lonely gamer looking for someone to love me so I can love them back. Some games I play are overwatch, dead by daylight (my fave multiplayer) borderlands 2(fave single/multi player) and I have more but I forgot what they were
I LOVE Halloween and anything horror related including gore. I’m what you call a gore whore. Bonus points if you also enjoy spooky stuff
I’m from Georgia (yeehaw) but as a gay Mexican in the south things aren’t working out too well on dating apps
I’m 5’8 with an enormous heart but no one to give all this damn love and affection to :(
I’m a fast replier unless I’m in a match and I’ll ALWAYS hype you up and make you feel loved :)
I also really enjoy Scott Pilgrim vs The World. My first (and only) tattoo is actually Scott from the comics!
Well that’s all I can think of. Dm if interested :)
submitted by YeehawBebop to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 21:13 Kirby184 Does anybody got ocs they want to talk about? I will be glad to hear them! (A bit of spoilers for the octo expansion)

Here, I’ll go first.
Aqua and ??? (I have no idea what to name him yet, if you have ideas, plz let me know!)
??? and Aqua are bother and sister. Aqua is shy,but very open when it comes to 8 (they are dating) and her brother. And ??? is a smol little gay boy that has energy for anything.
Here is some lore for Aqua: After agent 3 went missing in the octo expansion, she went out to look for him even though she didn’t have enough strength to do it by herself. After a while of getting lost in the trains, she finds C.Q. Cumber and makes a deal with him to help her after C.Q. heard her story and why she was there. While sneaking around the train, she finds agent 8 talking to C.Q. After they get out of the trains and into Inkopolis, 8 asks her out after having such good times with her.
Some lore for ??? (It unfortunately isn’t as detailed and I might change some things later)
He had met agent 3 even before 3 had even become an agent. He had found 3 in a random turf war match and after seeing his amazing charger skills (and also because he has a habit of getting in-humanly comfortable with someone waaaay to quickly) he decided to ask 3 to join him for some snacks and play more matches together. 3 said yes because he was impressed by his splattershot pro and n-zap skills (also because he can’t say no to his adorable face) and became friends (and then ??? Eventually came out to be gay and Aqua threw him a small party) and then started dating each other.
submitted by Kirby184 to splatoon [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 19:14 YeehawBebop 19 [M4M]

Howdy! I am finding myself posting here once again ~sigh~ (yes I’m copying and pasting)
Lonely gamer looking for someone to love me so I can love them back. Some games I play are overwatch, dead by daylight (my fave multiplayer) borderlands 2(fave single/multi player) and I have more but I forgot what they were
I LOVE Halloween and anything horror related including gore. I’m what you call a gore whore. Bonus points if you also enjoy spooky stuff
I’m from Georgia (yeehaw) but as a gay Mexican in the south things aren’t working out too well on dating apps
I’m 5’8 with an enormous heart but no one to give all this damn love and affection to :(
I’m a fast replier unless I’m in a match and I’ll ALWAYS hype you up and make you feel loved :)
I also really enjoy Scott Pilgrim vs The World. My first (and only) tattoo is actually Scott from the comics!
Well that’s all I can think of. Dm if interested :)
submitted by YeehawBebop to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 18:41 IHateHumans [Rant] I'm Tired of Feeling Like a Second Class Citizen Even in LGBTQ+ Communities

We all know how awful it is in most cishet communities for Trans Folx. Casual transphobia, problematic language, and backwards ideas permeate every aspect of those communities, even the most liberal ones. But when it comes to LGBTQ+ communities I have found that it's only slightly better. Because the opinions I have noticed about Trans Folx from the rest of the LGB side of the LGBTQ+ is superficial support at best and downright hostility at worst. And I am so fucking tired of it.
The worst offenders I have noticed are Lesbian and Gay people with so many of them either being apathetic to the rights and plights of Trans Folx or are actively exclusionary. They disregard how atrocious it is for Trans Folx out there, care little for any of the issues Trans Folx have to deal with, or just outright invalidate us as people.
Lesbians often refuse to date any Trans Woman in fear of invalidating their "Gold Star" status, completely disregarding the separation of gender and genitalia. Which is exceptionally hilarious to me considering the rampant and consistent use of strap-ons in the Lesbian community. It's like, they'll strap a dildo to their crotch and go to town but won't touch a Trans Girl, someone who is at best okay with having this fucking dysphoria noodle or is downright suicidal at having to be stuck with it. All because "Ewwwwww, penis". Then there's the Gay community who often times views Trans Men as "Women Lite". Disregarding their gender identity all because they're stuck with a vagina.
And while the Bisexual/Pansexual community is slightly better allies they also have their fair share of problematic ideals. Often times I have noticed several bi/pan people stating that they refuse to date someone who's "Genitalia don't match their gender". Which is just so fucking insulting to reduce a person down to whatever part they're stuck with. Then I have also noticed the disgusting Bi/Pan chasers who imply that Trans Men/Women are "The best of both worlds". As if we're some kind of fucking sex toy for them to enjoy.
And even then, even then, if you happen to find a community with people who are "allies" their allyship is often superficial and fickle and/or problematic. With ideas about transitioning that range from "Needing 'The Surgery'" to refusing to support Trans Rights Issues if it at all inconveniences them.
I recently was apart of a community like this. I thought they were super great allies. But when the discussion of the new Hogwarts game came up I mentioned how I was conflicted on the topic because J.K. Rowling would get money. Their responses? They effectively said "Oh well, lots of shitty people make money, what're ya gonna do?" and cited people still buying stuff from problematic companies all the time. Which is like, so fucking tone deaf and moronic that I couldn't even.
Like, yeah, Nestle is a shit company, but when they have a monopoly on fucking food it's a little hard to avoid supporting them. But a fucking video game? You don't need that. But people like them don't care. They want their game with wands that go brrrrrrr and don't want to stop to think how much money that horrible monster of a person is going to make as she continues to make life a living hell for Trans Folx. Because at the end of the day they don't care about Trans Folx nearly as much as Trans Folx care about other Trans Folx. To them we're still "The Other".
And I'm sorry to any Cis Queer people reading this. I understand you're likely a good ally. But when the large majority of the LGB is this problematic I have to wonder if they're actually right and that maybe it is time to drop the T. Because they haven't given a fuck about us since Stonewall and it really, really fucking shows. And maybe it's time to start focusing on ourselves instead of getting lost in the rest of the rainbow.
/endrant
submitted by IHateHumans to trans [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 14:16 sidekickprotege [Incel edition] My blupilled brother made me weep a little from pitying him

This is going to be somewhat long so stay seated:
This one evening, me and my brother were having a little chat. From my perspective, I would describe my older brother to be somewhat immature, a little douchey, foolish, and unsophisticated. I said: "I wish I had a stronger chin" and my brother said, "Why do you care so much about your look" which he noticed I may have been lately, and for sure he was right. Since I'm closeted I just said, "have you ever tried Tinder" (looks are extremely important in both gay and straight dating, race even matters more in gay dating, be white or it's over). Then my brother went on a rant about how looks don't matter, and personality is all that matters. He made several points about how if you treat a lady with care and respect she will fall for you. Surprised to what I was hearing I said to him, "have you seen how women treat short men, and say how they should all kill themselves, and how useless they are" (my brother is 5'4" same as me). I don't know if my brother has been hiding under a rock because he knows so little about the online dating world. Now this is where it hurts a little, my brother said he definitely have tried Tinder. He talked about how he had 2 matches, (he said both were white, which I doubt since I'd say my brother is around 5 to sub 5) The other girl was older than him so he wasn't interested, the other one lives a little too far. Again, he went mouthing off about how he thought he was lucky with girls, how he thought he had a chance, how it's all about personality, how he can get any girls he wants. Unbeknownst to my awareness, my brother was actually this bluepilled and have been living this blissful life of ignorance. With my hatred guaranteed for bluepiled cucks, but upon hearing him at this point being so bluepilled that he became this delusional, I could no further bring myself to hate my brother. Completely oblivious to what was happening around him, he knows nothing about how a chad gets a notification every 5 seconds, how many women a chad slays, how a chad will always have a higher status automatically, how a women will still stick to a chad even if he was emotionally and physically abusive. I went to my room, wept a little bit from pitying him because he wasn't even aware of how delusional he was. Had I known he was this bluepilled, I would've just said, "you'll find out soon enough". Unsurprisingly as a blackpilled gaycel myself, I knew it was too much for him to handle, he's going to learn how brutal nature can be, one day he's going to swallow the blackpill. He will one day follow the path of the rope to freedom. He will one day go through the 3 stages of hoping, coping, and roping. One day he will learn how it never even began for sub 8 men, he will learn how little life offers opportunity when you're sub 8. One day he will want to LDAR. He's not even 1/10 of how blackpilled I am yet. Still believing in the cringy and lazy effortless bluepilled normie cuck personality advice, ahead he goes through his life. Not aware of what he's missing, bless his poor heart. He'll find out soon enough, for now, the blackpill is too brutal for him.
submitted by sidekickprotege to copypasta [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 13:17 sshiypill What to do when you’ve [23M] been ghosted by a guy [23M] ? Ghosting in the gay community happens too often

Tl;dr I guy I thought I got along with actually GHOSTED ME. Very sad situation here. I don’t know what to do
I [23M] matched with this awesome dude [23M] on Tinder and we met up in a park. We smoked some weed and had a fun time. We were suppose to grab some drinks later on that night but he canceled because his family was having a family dinner night.
Under the influence of marijuana, I sent an embarrassing amount of sad face emojis and sent an embarrassing voice note. The voice note basically said, “OMG so sorry about the sad face Emojis, I was so sleepy while texting. Don’t worry, we’ll meet another time and place” NO RESPONSE.
The next day, I sent him a text message saying “Happy Sunday” and I asked him to disregard the two previous messages because I was high as a kite.
I have received no response. I found him on the grid for Grindr and he is constantly “online.”
Maybe he ghosted me because I told him that I wanted to have something consistent. He was more of a “go with the flow” type vibe. He just moved down to my city after college, so I’m sure he’s not looking for a relationship. But of course, he didn’t say that. I made sure to let him know that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but just something with consistency.
This is already getting off to a bad start.
I figured he is not a good communicator because his sentences were consistently trailing off and he rapidly say things at the end that is basically indecipherable.
To be honest, that is a sign of a MAJOR GHOSTER. Someone who can’t clearly say a sentence with confidence. You have to PULL words out of them. They aren’t bad people, they are bad communicators.
What should I do ? Should I wait a week now before messaging him again ? Should I leave him alone ? Should I give him a call versus texting him ? (BTW, I’ve tried to call him before to just do some light chatting and it seems like he is phone averse)
I am a black guy and he’s a Latino papi, but it seems he’s dated mostly white guys. I think he may be slightly uncomfortable around me ? Again, all of this is in my head.
Is this common in the gay community ? How can I spot time-wasters next time ? What should I be on the look-out for ? I feel like I wasted a shit ton of valuable time.
submitted by sshiypill to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 13:13 sshiypill What to do when you’ve [23M] been ghosted by a guy [23M] ? Ghosting in the gay community happens too often

I [23M] matched with this awesome dude [23M] on Tinder and we met up in a park. We smoked some weed and had a fun time. We were suppose to grab some drinks later on that night but he canceled because his family was having a family dinner night.
Under the influence of marijuana, I sent an embarrassing amount of sad face emojis and sent an embarrassing voice note. The voice note basically said, “OMG so sorry about the sad face Emojis, I was so sleepy while texting. Don’t worry, we’ll meet another time and place” NO RESPONSE.
The next day, I sent him a text message saying “Happy Sunday” and I asked him to disregard the two previous messages because I was high as a kite.
I have received no response. I found him on the grid for Grindr and he is constantly “online.”
Maybe he ghosted me because I told him that I wanted to have something consistent. He was more of a “go with the flow” type vibe. He just moved down to my city after college, so I’m sure he’s not looking for a relationship. But of course, he didn’t say that. I made sure to let him know that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but just something with consistency.
This is already getting off to a bad start.
I figured he is not a good communicator because his sentences were consistently trailing off and he rapidly say things at the end that is basically indecipherable.
To be honest, that is a sign of a MAJOR GHOSTER. Someone who can’t clearly say a sentence with confidence. You have to PULL words out of them. They aren’t bad people, they are bad communicators.
What should I do ? Should I wait a week now before messaging him again ? Should I leave him alone ? Should I give him a call versus texting him ? (BTW, I’ve tried to call him before to just do some light chatting and it seems like he is phone averse)
I am a black guy and he’s a Latino papi, but it seems he’s dated mostly white guys. I think he may be slightly uncomfortable around me ? Again, all of this is in my head.
Is this common in the gay community ? How can I spot time-wasters next time ? What should I be on the look-out for ? I feel like I wasted a shit ton of valuable time.
submitted by sshiypill to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 13:11 sshiypill What to do when you’ve been ghosted ?

I [23M] matched with this awesome dude [23M] on Tinder and we met up in a park. We smoked some weed and had a fun time. We were suppose to grab some drinks later on that night but he canceled because his family was having a family dinner night.
Under the influence of marijuana, I sent an embarrassing amount of sad face emojis and sent an embarrassing voice note. The voice note basically said, “OMG so sorry about the sad face Emojis, I was so sleepy while texting. Don’t worry, we’ll meet another time and place” NO RESPONSE.
The next day, I sent him a text message saying “Happy Sunday” and I asked him to disregard the two previous messages because I was high as a kite.
I have received no response. I found him on the grid for Grindr and he is constantly “online.”
Maybe he ghosted me because I told him that I wanted to have something consistent. He was more of a “go with the flow” type vibe. He just moved down to my city after college, so I’m sure he’s not looking for a relationship. But of course, he didn’t say that. I made sure to let him know that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but just something with consistency.
This is already getting off to a bad start.
I figured he is not a good communicator because his sentences were consistently trailing off and he rapidly say things at the end that is basically indecipherable.
To be honest, that is a sign of a MAJOR GHOSTER. Someone who can’t clearly say a sentence with confidence. You have to PULL words out of them. They aren’t bad people, they are bad communicators.
What should I do ? Should I wait a week now before messaging him again ? Should I leave him alone ? Should I give him a call versus texting him ? (BTW, I’ve tried to call him before to just do some light chatting and it seems like he is phone averse)
I am a black guy and he’s a Latino papi, but it seems he’s dated mostly white guys. I think he may be slightly uncomfortable around me ? Again, all of this is in my head.
Is this common in the gay community ? How can I spot time-wasters next time ? What should I be on the look-out for ? I feel like I wasted a shit ton of valuable time.
submitted by sshiypill to AskGayMen [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 13:10 sshiypill What to do when you’ve been ghosted ?

I [23M] matched with this awesome dude [23M] on Tinder and we met up in a park. We smoked some weed and had a fun time. We were suppose to grab some drinks later on that night but he canceled because his family was having a family dinner night.
Under the influence of marijuana, I sent an embarrassing amount of sad face emojis and sent an embarrassing voice note. The voice note basically said, “OMG so sorry about the sad face Emojis, I was so sleepy while texting. Don’t worry, we’ll meet another time and place” NO RESPONSE.
The next day, I sent him a text message saying “Happy Sunday” and I asked him to disregard the two previous messages because I was high as a kite.
I have received no response. I found him on the grid for Grindr and he is constantly “online.”
Maybe he ghosted me because I told him that I wanted to have something consistent. He was more of a “go with the flow” type vibe. He just moved down to my city after college, so I’m sure he’s not looking for a relationship. But of course, he didn’t say that. I made sure to let him know that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but just something with consistency.
This is already getting off to a bad start.
I figured he is not a good communicator because his sentences were consistently trailing off and he rapidly say things at the end that is basically indecipherable.
To be honest, that is a sign of a MAJOR GHOSTER. Someone who can’t clearly say a sentence with confidence. You have to PULL words out of them. They aren’t bad people, they are bad communicators.
What should I do ? Should I wait a week now before messaging him again ? Should I leave him alone ? Should I give him a call versus texting him ? (BTW, I’ve tried to call him before to just do some light chatting and it seems like he is phone averse)
I am a black guy and he’s a Latino papi, but it seems he’s dated mostly white guys. I think he may be slightly uncomfortable around me ? Again, all of this is in my head.
Is this common in the gay community ? How can I spot time-wasters next time ? What should I be on the look-out for ? I feel like I wasted a shit ton of valuable time.
submitted by sshiypill to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 09:02 tuuhduuh Years of physical and mental torture as a child

I am 35 years old and I recently had a PTSD flashback when me and my fiancé got into a huge argument over getting married. I have never realized I had PTSD until a few days ago. Before I dive into what recently happened, let me start off by explaining my childhood. When I was a kid, about 7, I woke up one morning to seeing my Mom on the front porch, she had a backpack beside her. She was just sitting there, so I opened the door and I can’t really remember what was said, but to my knowledge she said something like she is smoking a cigarette and just came back in. The next morning I woke up my mom was gone, and left a note saying she left my dad for another woman. Now my Dad is 6”2, 260 long haired tattooed up mean biker type guy. He didn’t take crap from anyone, or authority figures. He beat two cops up legally before because they failed to identify themselves. Anyways my Mom never came back at all. I never seen her since. I was the third born out of 4 boys. And my Dad was very strict, he had to control everything. He lived on disability even though he could’ve worked. We were pretty poor living in cockroach infested houses with barely any food to get by, and we wore raggedy clothes from donations. I would sometimes have to wear the same outfits days at a time. So you can imagine how we was treated in school. Now also I am hearing impaired and I wear hearing aids in both ears. I have had 20 surgeries to put tubes in. Well here’s where it starts getting dark... Our dad was a fuckin prick, he didn’t give two shits about who saw him beat us. Everyone was scared of him. One time I was really hungry so I made some deep fried potatoes and onions because that’s all we had at the time. My Dad was drunk too. And when he found out I was cooking without permission, he made me eat the entire plate of food. All while he was saying I’m a piece of shit for eating food and not asking if he was hungry, and he would smack me so hard I would almost lose consciousness every time I would take another bite. I don’t remember much after that. Then when me and my brothers would play, we would always be “too loud” because he was trying to lay down and watch tv (he always laid on the couch while we all was forced to stay inside and not go out and play) and do nothing all day. So he would take us all one by one, and we would watch each other get smacked so hard it would make our ears ring.... wow I just now remembered the ear ringing part.... anyways we would have to watch each other get smacked, and to see this happen to your own brother, the brother you played with and laughed with, the only people who we trusted, would be forced to watch this happen, and we would wait our turns. (Sorry for skipping some things, it’s the first time I had to explain this, so I’m leaving out a lot of other abuse, I’m just stating what I remember right now) One time a friend of ours drew a Jewish star on toilet paper and my Dad seen it and flipped out. At this time none of us knew what was going on. We all thought he made it up just so he can beat us. We later found out it was our friend who was the only friend who could come hangout. Anyways he made us all line up and he would pretend he was doing martial arts on us. He would act like Bruce Lee, and he just hit me right in my chest and I fell down 6 feet away starving for oxygen. I couldn’t imagine what this looked like to my brothers who had to witness it. Then it was the next brothers turn, he would make us all draw stars to see if it matched the one on the toilet paper roll, he said “this is like me wiping my ass to God, who did this” and we all would say we didn’t do it because we didn’t. Anyways it was the next brothers turn, it was my oldest brothers turn. My Dad jumped and did a front kick to his chest and knocked him through the closet wall. He fell to the ground gasping for air....whew this is hard to explain....especially the next part... I hated seeing my brothers get hurt, it killed me. I was helpless I couldn’t do anything, I wanted to, I wished that Superman would come save us, because no one could take my dad he was pretty well rounded in CQC. I would imagine Superman coming in and kicking his ass. And it made me feel a little better. Anyways he continued this for I have no idea how long... This part is the hardest on me to explain but I’ll do my best.... WARNING, TRIGGER!!! My dad did this to us 3 times that I can remember.... I can’t remember why he did this to us but the site we all had to participate in and watch and feel what was going on was so surreal.... He would make us three hold one of our brothers down.... by the ankle last, the wrists and head....We would have to strip naked....as we would hold each other down.... whew it hurts so much thinking about it....I had to forcibly hold my brother down and if he got loose he would smack the taste out our mouths... so we had no choice but to be rough....I had to hold down my brother as he begged my dad to stop beating his naked body....with a leather belt, he would sometimes use the belt buckle side... the feeling of me holding down my brothers ankles as he was tortured by our own Father, who we looked up to for guidance and security and safety, who we still loved even though he hated us, would do such things to us.... My brothers and I would take turns begging our dad to stop, this happened four times because there’s four of us, so this was pretty traumatic. Ok... also when we would go out to public we could t say anything, touch anything, play, or even look sad. If we did he would say “You think I wouldn’t smack you in front of all these people” boy was we wrong, he would smack us so hard that the ringing in our ears would go crazy. I’m hearing impaired so when he smacked me it would hurt so much more... Me... I had to deal with this, and deal with bullies at school. Our dad made us all have long hair and we wasn’t allowed to cut it. So he gave us all mullets. T hat wasn’t popular in school, maybe it was then but I didn’t like it. I had long hair, big glasses, and the old time big ol hearing aid. So I was quite the specimen for bullies because they could come up with so many things to make fun of me about. All while I’m trying to forget what happened the night before from my dad. My Dad never taught us how to do anything. Nothing at all. Not even to ride a bike or even tie our shoes. My second oldest brother didn’t learn to tie his shoes until he was 14, or ride a bike until he was 15. So we wasn’t prepared for what the world had to offer. Oh also me and my brothers lived on the south side in a bad neighborhood and we was in a drive by, some van pulled up and started shooting up our house while my dad was bouncing at a strip club. Me being the crazy one (the one who goes head first into trouble) tried to pull out my dads gun and shoot back but my oldest brother took the gun from me. One of the bullets ripped through my oldest brothers pillow where he was resting his head..... Then after that he would mentally abuse us by putting his gun to his head making us beg him not to do it, we would freak out crying not knowing what to do. He did this I don’t know how many times. To the point where we knew he was lying. As we got older my brothers started to get gfs and eventually they all had children and wives. I was 22 I think I don’t feel like doing math) While me, the bad boy was stuck with him because I would get drunk a lot and go out and get into fights and I would repeat this over and over until I was so depressed that I told my dad I was going to kill myself (before this I almost got shot by a cop, I have so many stories to tell but not enough time, I could write a book) and he didn’t utter a word. This happened December 27th, 2007. TRIGGER!! So I went into the kitchen and drew out a steak knife and I worked myself up to stab myself in the stomach..... I did and I didn’t feel anything, when I pulled the knife out some fat or muscle came out with it (because it was a serrated blade) and plugged the hole I made. I went into the living room where my dad was laying and showed him and he didn’t seem to be phased. Until I passed out on the floor.... I was in and out while I was driven to the hospital by my oldest brother and my Dad. I was in so much pain, it hurt so bad I couldn’t stop cussing, I was yelling curse words so loud. So I wake up the next morning with 25 staples in my stomach and I’m surrounded by all my loved ones....The look on their faces.. will haunt me for the rest of my life...(one of the people there was my best friend Cody who I played my guitar with and he played drums, recently took his own life) From that day on I never thought about suicide again. I have a huge heart, I love without limitation. I give and never want anything in return. This story isn’t even including what has triggered my ptsd. Or the love story I am currently in. I made a wish when I was 5 to marry a redhead with blue eyes. And I met her, in high school. I had long hair still and still wore glasses and hearing aids. I didn’t like my hair so I never took care of it. So one time I was in a crowded hallway at my locker, and this beautiful BEAUTIFUL redhead walked past me and I fell in love... I never had a chance...even though in my mind I thought I could get her, just by looking in the mirror then there was no way in hell she would even want to talk to me. I went to this dudes house to buys some weed and she was there with the weedmans sister. I froze in my spot as soon as I seen her, I contemplated on turning around and getting the hell outta there. But I had to get high, so I went up and sat next to her and the weedmans sister. I was introduced and she actually talked to me!! She smiled at me! She could do tell I was crushing hard. I even somehow left with her fucking phone number!! Man i just knew my life from here on would be worth it. We quickly became friends because I am a pretty goofy funny guy. (Not bragging but I made a inmate in jail laugh so hard he begged me to stop making him laugh and he shit himself, what happened was a guard wouldn’t get me my hot water so I can cook some noodles, I kept banging on the cell door and he came over and said “are you fuckin stupid” I said “no your fuckin stupid” in a kids voice and my cell mate lost it. Then when the guard left I said that mother fucker called me stupid, he’s gonna think I’m stupid when I kidnap his ass and tie em up and rip the tape off his mouth and say “wwwwhhhooooo’s sssstuuuupiiiid nnnnnooooowwww” and my cell mate shit himself. (You see this readers, I’m trying to impress you guys or make you guys like me even though I never seen any of you) I catch myself now doing things normal people shouldn’t do. I don’t know how to respond to emotions, I feel awkward about showing someone affection or intimacy. Also you see what else I did. I cut off my story to tell another story. I do that and I dunno. I’m always distracted, distracted by me always criticizing and analyzing what I do, the way I walk, the way I carry myself, the way I talk, and when I try to do something that is showing affection I feel like every single move I make being watched and that I am not doing it right. And in this moment I am being awkward, I won’t stand like I should).... Anyways the redhead.... and then we would hangout everyday until she got a bf. It didn’t crush me but I wasn’t happy. He was a good guy, (he ended up killing himself over this same girl). So then I would hangout with this one dude and he had a gf that was pretty classy and she asked if I wanted to cut my hair, I quickly said yes please. When she cut my hair....I became the stud I knew I always was. I was blown away by the attention I got. Then the weedmans sister calls me and says “she wants to fuck your brains out” and I’m like “huh who!?” She says her name and I start laughing while saying “yeah right quit playing with me” and I hear the redhead laughing in the background saying “I really do”. She ended up coming over and you can figure the rest out. It was like wow, it was the best moment of my life. She ended up disappearing and then eventually she came to me and we started dating which I still couldn’t believe. (Till this day I have bad self esteem, self confidence and self worth. I think everyone hates me and that I should isolate myself out of fear of confrontation. I recently came to the conclusion that I am pretty fucin hot (I am) and then she ended up cheating on me and left me. We was still friends because we were buddies. We told each other everything. Done all kinds of stuff together and I loved her so so much.... From the day I laid eyes on her, I just knew deep down, that we would eventually end up together, there’s no doubt in my mind. That this is true love. Then I would come hangout with her and her bfs over the years and even became friends with them, like it bothered me tbh but I just put the feelings aside cause she is my buddy and I couldn’t lose my best friend. So I kept talking to her. Then she moved away and I went to jail for 4 months. And she connected back with me somehow. I had a Job at a bread factory, that paid 20/hr and the best benefits around. Got me a nice car. And I was living with my brother at this time because, never mind that’s a long story. Anyways I had my shit together and she liked it and she wanted to hook up. She also had a baby by, ironically the weedman. I told her I could take care of her and her baby. As best friends. But I never expected to fall so hard for her....So hard that I treated her like a fairy princess, I was very clingy. She would tell me I’m clingy but I never understood how. So I figured she meant clingy as I’m showing too much love and affection. I’m not sure if I’m still wrong or not but I did the opposite of what she meant. I now in hindsight see what she meant. She meant following her around always up her ass always wanting to do what she wanted even if I hated to do it. She got whatever she wanted. She would try to do super duper nice things for me but I rejected it because it made me feel uncomfortable, I didn’t know how to react to someone showing me genuine love and tenderness. And I acted wrong. Because I would always over think every action I made. I would always sit and wonder what to say to her instead of being myself. Right before this I asked her to marry me and she said no. And again later I asked her and she said no. Then she went to jail for failing a drug test and I would write her and I would write the most sweetest lovey dovey letters. Which was also a mistake. I can’t be writing her gay letters when she’s in Jail, that made me look like a bitch. Anyways I asked her to marry me again and she said yes. Her daughter became my daughter cause her real daddy is a pos. Then later I got an apartment and she moved in with me and we got in an argument over getting married. When this happened I started to panic, I started to not think coherently. I was saying jibberish as if my brain put a “do not disturb” sign up. She would ask about the things I do and how I act and how I show jy love and she would say why am I even with her, because I’m a high clsss good lookin guy (so never knew this till recently) She freaked me out so bad because I didn’t want her to go, I would die if she left. I am guessing I had an attack I have no clue. But I said “I guess my unconscious mind doesn’t want me to marry you” and she asked if I wanted the ring back and I thought that’s what she wanted, that she wanted me to take the ring so she would t leave me) I guess I was wrong cause she left. She left and fucked about 40 dudes within 4 months. I still love her, and I still talk to her. She gave me a ring the other day that says “true love waits”. And my baby calls me Daddy and I love it so much. Noe I am too attached to my daughter and I can’t leave her, because I want to raise her the way I wish I was raised. Noe I am scared to death of losing her and my best friend. I know why she left me really. It’s because I did t assert myself. I was a pushover to her (I was no way near being a pussy, I didn’t care how many people there were I’d fuck all em up, I’ve been jumped a few times and still whooped em) there I go again. Anyways she isn’t attracted to a girl, she’s attracted to a man. She did t say that, but she calls me a girl sometimes. It’s cause I always thought you treat a girl how a lovey dovey girl treats guys. I was so wrong. My Dad did t teach me shit. I did have gfs growing up but they did t last long. Most was just fuck and go’s. Noe I’m about to finally see a psychiatrist this week and I hopr I get my emotions in check. I cry a lot and she hates it because it makes her disgusted. Which I understand because it’s not who I am. I am asserted but my mind just freezes up.... I dunno what to do. I can’t lose them or my life is truly over. I have no children, my brothers all have wives and kids and get love and defection every single day. I had to be stuck with my dad for 35 years. He had so much control iver me that he stil ran my life.
submitted by tuuhduuh to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 03:45 maybematdamon 33 [M4F] Ghosted twice this week. I refuse to give up in my search

Hello lady Redditors! Zack here. I was debating on copy/pasting my previous post from a couple days ago, but I figure if you're curious enough, you will check my Reddit history anyway. It's roughly the same format, with some more elaboration.
My birthday is a month away, and I'm hoping to meet a woman to help make my birthday special and memorable. I hope you enjoy reading, because I'm a strong communicator.
After what seemed to be a very promising start to a somewhat local romance, she deleted her account. It really sucks when you think you're doing everything right, only for someone to ghost you. Oh well, time to keep moving forward.
A little about me:
I'm 5'9", 160 lbs, brown hair (I'm growing it long again), hazel eyes, and covered in freckles. Here I am:
I'm a studio art major at Western Carolina University, in a small Appalachian mountain town called Cullowhee, NC, USA. I'm halfway through my junior year, as a transfer student. My focus is in painting. Some of my biggest influences come from the impressionism and post impressionism movements, namely Van Gogh, Matisse, Renoir, and Cezanne.
I identify as an atheist, humanist, hedonist, and existential nihilist. What this means is that I am not superstitious, I believe in maximizing human happiness and human potential, that life should be in the pursuit of pleasure, and that the universe and existence are absurd and without meaning, and the only way for us to have meaning is to give it to ourselves. On the Meyer's Briggs personality spectrum, I'm ANTP, meaning Ambiverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. I have Bipolar I, ADHD, minor psychosis, and hypersensitivity. This essentially means I have a fluctuating energy level, intense highs and lows in my moods (managed by medication), I hyperfocus on things that interest me, rarely hear or see things that are not there, and have very powerful and sometimes overwhelming senses.
My free time is spent playing video games, board games, and Dungeons and Dragons as a social lubricant. I think games are a great way for people to open up and socialize. I don't play very many single player video games anymore, as I prefer playing competitive or cooperative games, like Wizard of Legend, Super Smash Bros (Ultimate and Melee), and Mario Kart. I also enjoy basketball and disc golf as outdoor activities.
I'm technically single, but tend to practice ethical non-monogamy. I am not opposed to monogamy, I just have a lot of social and emotional needs that aren't always met by one person. I don't mind if you see other people. I'm currently lightly involved with a couple women, but they aren't local. I'd love to meet a local woman, but if you're long distance, I'd love to get to know you and let some form of relationship happen organically. My ideal match is also someone looking for a committed relationship, who is my primary relationship, and everything else is tertiary. I know non-monogamy isn't for everyone, and I respect that. If you're otherwise interested in me and prefer monogamy, we can give it a shot if you meet at least most of my social and relationship needs.
My love languages are touch and quality time. I'm very affectionate and love getting affection in return. I like it when someone prefers to talk to me as much as possible, or spend as much time with me as possible. I tend to be attracted to women 5-10 years younger than me, but I will date anyone who makes a strong effort to get to know me. Effort goes a long way, ladies. Friends and current and past lovers would describe me as affectionate, compassionate, funny, witty, well read, highly intelligent, refreshing, low maintenance, intimidating, and a good kisser. My gay friends tell me they don't understand why more women aren't into me. Fuck if I know.
Perks of dating me: I will give you some of my art, and probably will paint or draw you. I am very affectionate, and a good communicator, so you can expect good morning and good night messages, lots of smooches, and support. I'll do my best to help you reach your goals, push you to try things outside of your comfort zone (that's the only way we grow!), be your shoulder to cry on, and be there to celebrate your victories.
If I even sound remotely interesting to you, reach out to me via chat or DM, I don't care which way you choose to introduce yourself. I'd love to meet you. I have ways to voice chat and if we are compatible, we can do that. If you're unsure of what to say, here are some conversation starters:
Tell me about your most memorable concert
Talk to me about your favorite show or movie
Give me a playlist of music to check out
Tell me your greatest fear
Send me some bangin' memes
Hope to hear from you soon. Have a lovely day.
-Zack
submitted by maybematdamon to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 02:30 maybematdamon 33 [M4F] Western Carolina University/Cullowhee/Sylva, NC - Ghosted twice this week, but I refuse to give up. Looking for a primary relationship

Hello lady Redditors! Zack here. I was debating on copy/pasting my previous post from a couple days ago, but I figure if you're curious enough, you will check my Reddit history anyway. It's roughly the same format, with some more elaboration.
My birthday is a month away, and I'm hoping to meet a woman to help make my birthday special and memorable. I hope you enjoy reading, because I'm a strong communicator.
After what seemed to be a very promising start to a somewhat local romance, she deleted her account. It really sucks when you think you're doing everything right, only for someone to ghost you. Oh well, time to keep moving forward.
A little about me:
I'm 5'9", 160 lbs, brown hair (I'm growing it long again), hazel eyes, and covered in freckles. Here I am:
I'm a studio art major at Western Carolina University, in a small Appalachian mountain town called Cullowhee, NC, USA. I'm halfway through my junior year, as a transfer student. My focus is in painting. Some of my biggest influences come from the impressionism and post impressionism movements, namely Van Gogh, Matisse, Renoir, and Cezanne.
I identify as an atheist, humanist, hedonist, and existential nihilist. What this means is that I am not superstitious, I believe in maximizing human happiness and human potential, that life should be in the pursuit of pleasure, and that the universe and existence are absurd and without meaning, and the only way for us to have meaning is to give it to ourselves. On the Meyer's Briggs personality spectrum, I'm ANTP, meaning Ambiverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. I have Bipolar I, ADHD, minor psychosis, and hypersensitivity. This essentially means I have a fluctuating energy level, intense highs and lows in my moods (managed by medication), I hyperfocus on things that interest me, rarely hear or see things that are not there, and have very powerful and sometimes overwhelming senses.
My free time is spent playing video games, board games, and Dungeons and Dragons as a social lubricant. I think games are a great way for people to open up and socialize. I don't play very many single player video games anymore, as I prefer playing competitive or cooperative games, like Wizard of Legend, Super Smash Bros (Ultimate and Melee), and Mario Kart. I also enjoy basketball and disc golf as outdoor activities.
I'm technically single, but tend to practice ethical non-monogamy. I am not opposed to monogamy, I just have a lot of social and emotional needs that aren't always met by one person. I don't mind if you see other people. I'm currently lightly involved with a couple women, but they aren't local. I'd love to meet a local woman, but if you're long distance, I'd love to get to know you and let some form of relationship happen organically. My ideal match is also someone looking for a committed relationship, who is my primary relationship, and everything else is tertiary. I know non-monogamy isn't for everyone, and I respect that. If you're otherwise interested in me and prefer monogamy, we can give it a shot if you meet at least most of my social and relationship needs.
My love languages are touch and quality time. I'm very affectionate and love getting affection in return. I like it when someone prefers to talk to me as much as possible, or spend as much time with me as possible. I tend to be attracted to women 5-10 years younger than me, but I will date anyone who makes a strong effort to get to know me. Effort goes a long way, ladies. Friends and current and past lovers would describe me as affectionate, compassionate, funny, witty, well read, highly intelligent, refreshing, low maintenance, intimidating, and a good kisser. My gay friends tell me they don't understand why more women aren't into me. Fuck if I know.
Perks of dating me: I will give you some of my art, and probably will paint or draw you. I am very affectionate, and a good communicator, so you can expect good morning and good night messages, lots of smooches, and support. I'll do my best to help you reach your goals, push you to try things outside of your comfort zone (that's the only way we grow!), be your shoulder to cry on, and be there to celebrate your victories.
If I even sound remotely interesting to you, reach out to me via chat or DM, I don't care which way you choose to introduce yourself. I'd love to meet you. I have ways to voice chat and if we are compatible, we can do that. If you're unsure of what to say, here are some conversation starters:
Tell me about your most memorable concert
Talk to me about your favorite show or movie
Give me a playlist of music to check out
Tell me your greatest fear
Send me some bangin' memes
Hope to hear from you soon. Have a lovely day.
-Zack
submitted by maybematdamon to RedditForDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.21 02:25 maybematdamon 33 [M4F] Western Carolina University/Cullowhee/Sylva/Asheville NC - Been ghosted twice in a week but I refuse to give up.

Hello lady Redditors! Zack here. I was debating on copy/pasting my previous post from a couple days ago, but I figure if you're curious enough, you will check my Reddit history anyway. It's roughly the same format, with some more elaboration.
My birthday is a month away, and I'm hoping to meet a woman to help make my birthday special and memorable. I hope you enjoy reading, because I'm a strong communicator.
After what seemed to be a very promising start to a somewhat local romance, she deleted her account. It really sucks when you think you're doing everything right, only for someone to ghost you. Oh well, time to keep moving forward.
A little about me:
I'm 5'9", 160 lbs, brown hair (I'm growing it long again), hazel eyes, and covered in freckles. Here I am:
I'm a studio art major at Western Carolina University, in a small Appalachian mountain town called Cullowhee, NC, USA. I'm halfway through my junior year, as a transfer student. My focus is in painting. Some of my biggest influences come from the impressionism and post impressionism movements, namely Van Gogh, Matisse, Renoir, and Cezanne.
I identify as an atheist, humanist, hedonist, and existential nihilist. What this means is that I am not superstitious, I believe in maximizing human happiness and human potential, that life should be in the pursuit of pleasure, and that the universe and existence are absurd and without meaning, and the only way for us to have meaning is to give it to ourselves. On the Meyer's Briggs personality spectrum, I'm ANTP, meaning Ambiverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving. I have Bipolar I, ADHD, minor psychosis, and hypersensitivity. This essentially means I have a fluctuating energy level, intense highs and lows in my moods (managed by medication), I hyperfocus on things that interest me, rarely hear or see things that are not there, and have very powerful and sometimes overwhelming senses.
My free time is spent playing video games, board games, and Dungeons and Dragons as a social lubricant. I think games are a great way for people to open up and socialize. I don't play very many single player video games anymore, as I prefer playing competitive or cooperative games, like Wizard of Legend, Super Smash Bros (Ultimate and Melee), and Mario Kart. I also enjoy basketball and disc golf as outdoor activities.
I'm technically single, but tend to practice ethical non-monogamy. I am not opposed to monogamy, I just have a lot of social and emotional needs that aren't always met by one person. I don't mind if you see other people. I'm currently lightly involved with a couple women, but they aren't local. I'd love to meet a local woman, but if you're long distance, I'd love to get to know you and let some form of relationship happen organically. My ideal match is also someone looking for a committed relationship, who is my primary relationship, and everything else is tertiary. I know non-monogamy isn't for everyone, and I respect that. If you're otherwise interested in me and prefer monogamy, we can give it a shot if you meet at least most of my social and relationship needs.
My love languages are touch and quality time. I'm very affectionate and love getting affection in return. I like it when someone prefers to talk to me as much as possible, or spend as much time with me as possible. I tend to be attracted to women 5-10 years younger than me, but I will date anyone who makes a strong effort to get to know me. Effort goes a long way, ladies. Friends and current and past lovers would describe me as affectionate, compassionate, funny, witty, well read, highly intelligent, refreshing, low maintenance, intimidating, and a good kisser. My gay friends tell me they don't understand why more women aren't into me. Fuck if I know.
Perks of dating me: I will give you some of my art, and probably will paint or draw you. I am very affectionate, and a good communicator, so you can expect good morning and good night messages, lots of smooches, and support. I'll do my best to help you reach your goals, push you to try things outside of your comfort zone (that's the only way we grow!), be your shoulder to cry on, and be there to celebrate your victories.
If I even sound remotely interesting to you, reach out to me via chat or DM, I don't care which way you choose to introduce yourself. I'd love to meet you. I have ways to voice chat and if we are compatible, we can do that. If you're unsure of what to say, here are some conversation starters:
Tell me about your most memorable concert
Talk to me about your favorite show or movie
Give me a playlist of music to check out
Tell me your greatest fear
Send me some bangin' memes
Hope to hear from you soon. Have a lovely day.
-Zack
submitted by maybematdamon to r4r [link] [comments]


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